Okay. This is proof that I dont post about everything that is going on in my life while its happening. For the last couple of weeks I have been in the midst of being profiled for the New York Times for a piece that is running this Sunday in its Style section. I have kept it to myself except for my closest friends and my colleagues here at work. The story is now up online and will be published in the Times print version in a couple of days. The writer Laura Holson was a joy to spend time with and was so thorough and took the assignment - and me - seriously, which I so appreciated. As a friend, making me laugh, just said to me on the phone, She could have made you out to be a crazy old drug addict who rambles incessantly on Facebook. But she didnt. And I appreciate that and her rigor as a journalist and writer and interviewer. Plus, I enjoyed my time with her. She is someone who could easily be my friend. But allow me to ramble just a bit here. There is just one misquote in the article although Laura claims according to her notes I said it. Im certain I didnt because words are often my lifeline - not only because I am a writer myself but, more important, because I am a drug addict in recovery. There is a moment in the story when I give up Archie and Teddy for foster care so I can concentrate on getting sober again after I had a relapse. As the friend also in recovery who drove me to the house where I had left Archie and Teddy was driving away, Archie began to cry and cry and scratch at the glass door of the house. That is when I finally lost it and began to sob. My friend reached out and put her hand on my shoulder. This is what surrender feels like, she said. And it was in the a moment I did just that: I surrendered and through surrendering was able to get sober finally. In the story my friend says, This is what sobriety feels like. So I felt bad that I am therefore misquoting her in my own inaccurate quote. For those of us in recovery the substitution of sobriety for surrender means something; it changes the whole meaning and tenor of that moment. I wasnt sober in that moment and that moment was not what sobriety felt like. Rambling incessantly on Facebook and smiling and laughing about the misquote after initially being so upset about it is what sobriety feels like. Indeed, after letting Laura know I was a bit upset by the misquote I stopped and asked myself what is the lesson in being so upset by the difference in those two words. And I decided that it was once again a lesson in surrender that came to nest in that story about my initial moment of surrender itself. I cant control what someone else writes or how they interpret a moment in my life. I know the truth of it. Thats what matters. God continues to give us ways to learn. Anyway, here is the story. I have surrendered to it being out in the world now.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 00:19:20 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015