Older Lady: Is your name John Roedel. Me: Yep. (Social Anxiety Level: 20) Older Lady: I knew your father a long time ago. I was so sad when he passed away. Me: Oh, well its nice to meet you. (Social Anxiety Level: 9) Older Lady: You look like the spitting image of him! Me: Thanks, thats really nice of you! (Social Anxiety Level: 15) Older Lady: Of course you are much heavier than him. Me: Well...of course....(Social Anxiety Level: 73) Older Lady: I dont know why men like you dont exercise more often. Me: Yeah. I probably should do that. (Social Anxiety Level 107.4) Older Lady: Your father kept in really fine shape. Me: Uh...great? (Social Anxiety Level: 177 Alert!!!! Nearing dangerous levels. Conserve energy by responding to woman by using only one word at a time!!!) Older Lady: I used to date your father when we were in high school. Me: Oh. (Social Anxiety Level: 550 - alert!!! circuit overloading!!!! Communicate only in grunts!!!) Older Lady: Just think, you couldve been my son. Isnt that funny? Me: *Grunt* (Social Anxiety Level: 700 Alert!!! Imminent Destruction! Abort all communications! Fake seizure!!) Older Lady: I loved dating your father. Me: Uhhhnmgggmm. (Social Anxiety Level 833 Alert!!! This type of situation is going to give you more kidney stones) Older Lady: Then your mom moved to town and ruined everything between him and me. Me: Ack. (Social Anxiety Level: 2350. Final Alert!!!!!! What in the hell did she just say?? Good luck. Youre on your own. Im out.) Older Lady: I was always bitter towards her for that. How is your mother these days anyways? Me: She passed. (Social Anxiety Level: offline. try back later) Older Lady: Oh. Well Im sure she was a nice lady.
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 17:17:31 +0000
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