One of the best monologues in the history of movies. -------- Its not the idea behind Christianity Im faulting, or Judaism, or any religion. Its the professionals whove made it into corporate business. Theres big money in the god racket, big money. Hey, the basic teachings of Jesus are quite wonderful. So, by the way, is the original intention of Karl Marx. Okay? Hey, what could be bad? Everybody should share equally. Do unto others. Democracy. Government by the people. All great ideas. These are all great ideas, but they all suffer from one fatal flaw. Which is theyre all based on the fallacious notion that people are fundamentally decent. Give them a chance to do right and theyll take it. Theyre not stupid, selfish, greedy, cowardly, short-sighted worms. They do the best they can. All Im saying is that people make life so much worse than it has to be and, believe me, its a nightmare without their help. But on the whole, Im sorry to say, were a failed species. What the hell does it all mean anyhow? Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nothing comes to anything. And yet, theres no shortage of idiots to babble. Not me. I have a vision. Im discussing you. Your friends. Your coworkers. Your newspapers. The TV. Everybodys happy to talk. Full of misinformation. Morality, science, religion, politics, sports, love, your portfolio, your children, health. Christ, if I have to eat nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day to live, I dont wanna live. I hate goddamn fruits and vegetables. And your omega 3s, and the treadmill, and the cardiogram, and the mammogram, and the pelvic sonogram, and oh my god the-the-the colonoscopy, and with it all the day still comes where they put you in a box, and its on to the next generation of idiots, wholl also tell you all about life and define for you whats appropriate. My father committed suicide because the morning newspapers depressed him. And could you blame him? With the horror, and corruption, and ignorance, and poverty, and genocide, and AIDS, and global warming, and terrorism, and-and the family value morons, and the gun morons. The horror, Kurtz said at the end of Heart of Darkness, the horror. Lucky Kurtz didnt have the Times delivered in the jungle. Ugh... then hed see some horror. But what do you do? You read about some massacre in Darfur or some school bus gets blown up, and you go Oh my God, the horror, and then you turn the page and finish your eggs from the free range chickens. Because what can you do. Its overwhelming! I tried to commit suicide myself. Obviously, it didnt work out. But why do you even want to hear about all this? Christ, you got your own problems. Im sure your all obsessed with any number of sad little hopes and dreams. Your predictably unsatisfying love lives, your failed business ventures. Oh, if only Id bought that stock! If only I-if only I purchased THAT house years ago! If only Id made a move on THAT woman. If this, if that. You know what? Gimmie a break with your could haves and should haves. Like my mother used to say, If my grandmother had wheels, shed be a trolley car. My mother didnt have wheels. She had varicose veins. Still, the woman gave birth to a brilliant mind. I was considered for a Nobel Prize in physics... I didnt get it. But, you know, its all politics. Its like every other phony honor. Incidentally, dont think Im-Im bitter because of some personal setback. By the standards of a mindless, barbaric civilization, Ive been pretty lucky. I was married to a beautiful woman who had family money. For years we lived on Beekman Place. I taught at Columbia. String theory. Thats why I cant say enough times, whatever love you can get and give, whatever happiness you can filch or provide, every temporary measure of grace, whatever works. You know, as long as you dont hurt anybody. - Boris Yellnikoff (Larry David) -------- youtube/watch?v=dsHw6ogEUh0
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 17:42:20 +0000
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