One of the hardest things to do after loss is accept our sorrow and painful moments, and the many tears we shed. Losing the person we did is a major interruption in life as we knew it. We endure subtle changes nearly every day and we are able to accept them, change our own behavior so they don’t ruffle our feathers, and continue along our journey in life. However, when we lose a person we loved so dearly, that perhaps put breath in our sails and helped us to enjoy life fully, well then, that’s a disaster! First we have to cry and cry some more. We’ll hate life, God, the world, sometimes even our loved one for leaving us. We may even wish to die ourselves. Then we’ll see little glimmers of hope appear in our life. Perhaps a child is born into the family, your pet fills your heart with happy antics, we make new friends who get us now that we’re someone we don’t recognize, and sometimes if we can truly let go – everything about life gifts us and we see that we have more living to do. Not to mention the signals we receive from our departed loves ones… Due to sharing my work on this page and in my two books (No Regrets, My Love & The Widow-bago Tour, a Journey of Healing) I meet many who have experienced deep loss. And because I can speak so candidly about the subject and allow the people I meet to share their story about their own journey, I learn a lot about what potentially lies ahead for me and you. First I was gently advised, over and over again, to embrace my grief. Well, we know how difficult that is to do. Besides, who wants to do that?! Then I was told that I’d be okay, but I’d never be the same. So far, that’s accurate… And the biggest truth so far, shared by widows and widowers, people who lost a parent or grandparent, and the few that I know personally who have lost a child, is that the missing never goes away. With that knowledge, it helps me to allow myself to miss and cry when the uncontrollable urge to cry comes over me. Because I’m a woman who will push herself so hard to get where she needs to be in life, and at the moment that is to heal and cry less and less, I feel my pain with every ounce of my being when it shoves me around. How do I pull myself out of the despairing moments that swing in and out of my life like a clock pendulum? – Well, I tell myself how normal it is to have these responses to the missing that will never go away. That is when I realize it is perfectly okay to cry and get mad about tripping over yet another stepping stone of life. We are a soul living a human experience. And with that…comes our emotions. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to experience our emotions – but we must learn to master them and not allow them to control us. Training ourselves to be aware of the waves that try to drown us and responding accordingly, is one great trick to stop the lows of our roller-coaster ride in life from governing how we live. So let’s feel it, be okay with it, and honor it for what it is, and then shake it off and get walking again. When a football player has been tackled, he must get back up and get back into the game…just as we must get back in the game of life after loss… We won’t find anything unless we are open to seeking. And to do that we must walk our journey and go beyond our comfort zone. One day at a time baby! Hugs & Blessings. ~Margaret Cowie
Posted on: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 12:00:00 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015