Only just woken up, so theres been 6 hours of highly confusing, non medicated dreaming. I am shaking more than ever now and so dizzy I cant stand up, but sometimes I feel its almost worth it... ready?... Whitley abbey academy as its now called had its own textiles department, nearly as big as the whole school with every type of wool and material imaginable so I decided to do a robbery.. In the meantime, Id left some work I was doing downstairs in miss tomlinsons art room and some other kids had painted over it.. I complained to the quite hopeless miss tomlinson who did nothing before I realised that I am in fact a 36 year old teacher and these are 15 year old kids.. I find some peacock feathers in the yard and they are, as youd expect, magical peacock feathers. I keep them but they have blood on them which goes all down my legs. Im at Coughton Court, only its not the same inside as the one Ive been to. Its haunted and I dont believe in ghosts. However my opinion is swayed slightly when I look at a photograph and see it change in front of my eyes. I ask my uncle, Steve Bagley and professor Richard wiseman how it happened. Wiseman doesnt know and Steve gives me an explanation that sounds like bollocks. We go back to Coughton because Bruce Springsteen has decided to play an impromptu gig inside the house and has asked my little brother Joe Applebey to sing in the choir. The Boss comes on and the choir boys are let out of boxes, a bit like greyhounds on a race track. I cant see Joe, but dodi can and he gets some pictures. I show Bruce my tattoos and he gives us a goodie bag. We go to the auction as Coughton are auctioning off some stuff and I get this really old bureau type thing with lots of little drawers. Its ancient and falling apart but Im going to steam punk it up. I get it home and find hidden compartments filled with old jewellery. Nothing valuable, but beautiful and interesting. I park in asda car park, but theres school kids on there doing p.e so I reverse and drive off again. Back at whitley abbey, Ive found this machine that is stamping out little plastic skulls. I fill my pockets thinking these would be great for decorating the bureau. Were at a car boot and have a stall but my mum is selling off my jewellery cheap and Im getting annoyed. Me and my brothers have to go on the run from some brooklyn gangster types and we meet up with Bart Simpson and hide in his tent til its all blown over. At this point I wake up (or think I wake up) but I can only open one eye partly and the other wont open at all. I stagger around the boat, try to light the gas for the kettle but cant get a lighter to work. I look at my phone, realise its gone 2pm and Ive missed calls and have messages. I start to worry about my medication and the fact that Ive missed half my day and then it occurs to me that in this state, idris alba is my uncle and in reality he isnt, so I must, in fact be dreaming. Phew! I fall back asleep. Now its Xmas and Im still half blind and again, Ive overslept. Samantha Love has phoned to say Im gonna miss the gig so, stagger around yet again, fail to light the gas for the kettle and end up asking Ryan Hutchinson come and pick me up and take me to marks gig. When we get there, theres several of my teenage exes all in a room. I try to avoid them but I need to go through it as mark is on the other side. I sit on marks lap and he tells me I phoned him and spoke nonsense to him. I told him Yes, I was dreaming, but its okay, Im awake now I began to tell him several of the dreams Ive listed here. When I woke up I was convinced that when I opened my eyes I wouldnt be able to see properly and suspected that I had phoned mark whilst half asleep (I hadnt). Its a shame idris alba isnt my uncle though. I would have liked that!.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Apr 2014 15:54:22 +0000
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