PAMs BLOG loving You WHILE Fighting Multiple Myeloma Today at 12:16am October 15, 2013 Today I went with Ray to an oncologist his general Physician felt that something had shown up on his MRI of his back. He had been in such pain that he was unable to work or do much of anything. So now here we are believing there was no need for us to be here. So they found a fracture in his back well get it fixed and all will be well. While sitting in the office I noticed there was a table that said free. I figure it was winter and people are donating toboggans until I saw a lady go over to the table and take a wig out of the box. Oh no we are in the wrong place, we are just here to get his back fixed and well be gone. Then as we sat there we watched people come in and they were being called back before us. What? We have been waiting for Rays turn and I knew how he was if he had to wait too long for an appointment. He would soon find a need to voice his opinion on waiting! Whew! We were finally called back and was taken to a room where Ray was weighed and blood pressure taken. No big deal we have did this quite often in the last few weeks. Then we were taken to a room to wait for the doctor to come in. In walks the doctor she sits down with us and she starts to go over some of the test results that had been sent to her. His MRI showed a compressed fracture she ask him if he had been in any type of accidents? Of course not I thought hes an insurance salesman he hasnt been in an accident unless you call him blowing the horn because someone in front of him was driving too slow. U mm maybe road rage? No that wouldnt hurt him just make people mad at him. I listen as she began to go over the blood test results. Red cells are low, calcium is high, potassium is high. Well I thought he could just eat red meat bring up the red cells, dont drink milk that will lower the calcium and for the potassium stop eating bananas. Got it all covered I thought! Then she gives us the meaning of what the test really meant. She said three out of the four test show you have multiple myeloma. All quite she ask do you have any questions? We both sat there and said no and she ask again and again we said no. What she was saying wasnt meant for Ray thats not true we are not believing this diagnosis. She looked at us with the most kindest eyes and said you can call me or email me later and gave us her card. She set up the appointment for him to go to an neurosurgeon to have them fill his back with what they call is cement. Ray laughs and said I hope it not cement with the gravel in it. Did what she say to us register? The answer is no we still both felt this is not real. They have it wrong ! But as we walked out to exit I looked down the hall there were all those people that were taken before Ray all sitting in chairs hooked up and medicine running in their veins. I told Ray lets go this place makes me sad and ashamed. I told Ray you are not going to be one of THEM! We were giving some test to take home with us before the next visit. We could not accept that God would allow him to have cancer! No this was not in our plans we were going to go home and forget all about this day. Pretend it never happened. God wouldnt allow this to happen to Ray. God was a loving God and Ray and I both served God so no,this was not happening to us! Did it register to us no,? We told family the doctor said it was myeloma but we dont believe it and everyone agreed to believe with us. Oh yee of little faith, if we only have the faith of a mustard seed we could say mountain be moved and it would happen. A mustard seed is so small you think that it would be so easy to just have that little seed of faith but here we stand at the mountain empty handed. Did we even come close to Jesus when he cried out Father why has thou forsaken ME! Now here we stand crying out how could this happen to ME?
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 21:31:12 +0000
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