PROUD TO BE IN MY 30s: I was born at lunchtime on Sunday in Juba on February 18, 1979. How old would that make me? It would make me 34 years-old. Within our community, girls are taught to be fearful of their age, to resent the fact they are getting older which in turn makes them feel undesirable. But what is wrong with aging in the broader spectrum of things? Don’t you gain experience, wisdom and contentment as you age? A few days ago, I looked at myself in the mirror. I mean really looked at my facial structure, skin tone, wrinkles and imperfections. And I realized, the lines in my face and the discolorations due to aging are elements I have rightfully earned. A common tactic among many societies, including our South Sudanese society is to attack a woman’s age as means of stating there is something “wrong” with her, she must be a “bad” girl or “does not know who to take care of a household” that’s why no man wants her. I get asked, “You are getting older, don’t you want to get married?” My answer is “Yes, I do want to get married. Not just get married to have the title “wife” or have kids. What is most important to me is having peace of mind and happiness.” My identity is not tied to a man or the institution of marriage. Therefore, My age does not define me. My family does not define me. People do not define me. Society does not define me. I define my own self. And in terms of competing with other girls younger than me for the attention on men, that is not a part who I am. I could never compete for a man. Its either the man likes me or not. There is no gray area in that part. So, I would tell Junubin girls be proud of your age. Do not worry about getting older and “when you will get married and have kids.” Live your life. Enjoy every moment you have and create memories. Do not feel guilty or embarrassed by the age you have rightfully earned. Not many people are privileged to have reached your age. People who define you based on your age are not worthy of your time. Do not waste your attention on them. Strive to be a better person and live a happy life. Thanks
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 06:44:57 +0000
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