Parenting Tip that will reward for a lifetime: Teaching kids to say Im sorry for.... and I forgive you. :) First: Im sorry for.... I had great mentor moms so I didnt come up with the idea, but there is POWER not just in saying Im sorry but teaching Im sorry for.... and being really specific about what they are apologizing for. When a person says Im sorry for.... it validates the person wronged, and shows that the sorry isnt flippant; its evidence that the person apologizing gets what they did was wrong and is asking forgiveness for it. Even when it was uncomfortable for me as a mom because I felt embarrassed sometimes by what my kid had done, and uncertain as to how the person would respond to my child when he/she apologized, and honestly nervous how it would reflect on me as a parent,....all those nervous thoughts....we would approach the door, the sales staff, the principal, whomever - sometimes together, and sometimes Id send them alone as they got older: Im sorry for picking a fistful of flowers from your garden without asking. (that happened - to the lady up the street who didnt have kids, and her GORGEOUS garden was her life. GULP.) Im sorry for pulling the leaves off of your plant. (till it was a plant of stems...ugh...I cringed as we approached the person who had us into their home as guests to apologize for that one) Im sorry for throwing all the leftover lunch pails onto the roof of the school. (to the principal of the elementary school) Those things all happened...and many more...and some earned them detention, or being grounded, and strained neighbor relations, but they learned to OWN IT, and not brush it under the carpet. When they were teenagers it PAID OFF because theyd lived a life of owning their mistakes and were open about the things they lied about, snuck and did, disobeyed, cheated. Because my kids did all of those things in their lifetime, AND they apologized most times before they were ever caught. So proud of the people they are today because they are NOT excuse makers for bad behavior. We all do things we regret, but what a character trait to OWN IT and ask forgiveness for it. Second: I forgive you. When someone is humble and owns their mistake - big or little - what a gift it is to forgive them, therefor ending the battle and moving forward with it resolved from both sides. Sometimes in our culture we thank a person for their apology and sometimes we say I accept but there is POWER....HEALING POWER in giving forgiveness to the person simply by saying humbly, I forgive you. Forgiveness frees the forgiver, and is such a kind, comforting, oftentimes undeserved response for the person who was humble enough to own it. It helps in friendships, work relationships, marriage; pretty much every relationship for the rest of their life. Asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness....if you think about it, its the REAL point of the biblical Christmas: Jesus was born to forgive. What a GIFT. Give fun gifts that you buy in a store to those you love, but to whom can you give the GIFT of an apology, and to whom can you give the GIFT of forgiveness? Maybe someone came to mind as you read this. Go to them, just like God came to us.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 17:19:39 +0000
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