Perhaps I care too much, about and for, not what. I am on the verge. My journey through my self has reached this turning point. For the last two years i have revisited myself as almost a life in review like im moving back in time. The circumstances and lessons which present themselves stand out and are clearly obviously resonating with old patterns and continuing to move backwards through my life. There in lies the problem. The light exists here.. at now.. the dark exists where the karmic review is taking me. I have given every effort to redirect and or help buffer the next stage.. however it seems its being met with rank resistance. Forgive me where I go from here, none of you know this me. The person I became and helped refine is faithful and loving... The side that is breaking out is far beyond the opposite. I feel I might have a choice which way I go.. but my heart wares heavy and spent. If these two are to merge I pray it is at little cost. For the patterns that live there in the past which have not been deconstructed are evil and dangerous. And all I have left is apathy and hope. After that... there may not be a healing that could turn my energy back from cold. It was once already and i changed it. Given little choice.. perhaps this is my opportunity to reconnoiter the dark seed once and for all. Though it is an intoxicating power. Please Have faith I will not abuse the tools I receive to heal the oldest parts of myself. I need it. I fear the light is dimming.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 07:37:25 +0000
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