"Psychologist Alice Miller has examined the mechanisms of abuse widespread in “normal”child rearing and explained how abused children incorporate their experience into their psyches, only to act it out years or decades later. Miller explains how children often justify abusive treatment, or deny even that it was abuse. I deserved it, they say, I needed to be socialized, my parents really loved me despite what they did, they did it for a larger purpose, for my own good. In extreme cases, the abused convince themselves that the abuse was evidence of love. Because their abusers were secretly their friends, no anger against them is permissible. The repressed rage gets displaced, then acted out. Disassociated from the original cause, their feelings of anger, helplessness, despair, longing, anxiety, and pain will find expression in destructive acts against others or against themselves." =========== "I deserved it, they say, I needed to be socialized, my parents really loved me despite what they did, they did it for a larger purpose, for my own good" Whether or not these things are true is very much beside the point. Loving myself means not sacrificing true knowledge of ,y own injury and reality in order to save the constructed virtue of others. Only then can I address that pain.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Jul 2013 17:32:20 +0000
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