Reflections: How can it possibly be a year since you left us, when it truly seems like only yesterday!? We miss you everyday and love you with all our hearts! When I realized that your physical heart could do no more that night, I told you it was okay to go and that you could still take care of us and you certainly have in many ways! I knew you would! You have given us many signs that your okay and still with us as seen in my profile picture! I am truly blessed to have your love, friendship and to be your wife! We are blessed with three amazing children, Patrick Vessell, Matt Vessell, and Katie Vessell who are our special gifts and they all have parts of you that I see, loving, caring and we are so proud of them! It has been a very difficult year getting through all the firsts, most days it still doesnt seem real. I still dont feel as if I have begun to really mourn, maybe thats how it will always be, time will tell. I have learned a lot this past year: That I will have really bad days and that after a day like that, we have dubbed the next day as a hangover day! That hugs are awesome! Our families are amazing and loving, our friends are true, my colleagues and staff are so supportive! When I needed help and have never really been one that was comfortable with asking because Im pretty much a do it yourself person, boom! The help was there! I am beyond grateful to so many! Sometimes the little things stop you in your tracks, like the first time I had to circle a W instead of the M for marital status. Wierd after 34 years. That I find myself in the auto or tool section in a store and think okay well this is new and different. I now understand dealing with lawn mowers and weed eaters, etc..does include cursing grrrrrrrr! That men have a lot of stuff that I have no clue what it is much less what its used for. Also Im pretty sure I could open a small hunting supply store along with a tool store! Its okay to laugh here!! That I now have a lot in common with those that have lost a spouse or a loved one and a new understanding. That my children still need me and I them more now than ever, so grateful that we have each other. That I have my faith to help keep me strong! It is really nice to be able to say okay Lord I cant deal with this issue today, im giving it to you and he takes care of it. Thank you! Finally, I really want to mention this because even though its personal I will now and always be an advocate! I mention it because I really dont like the stigma that has been placed on people that go to counseling or that some people need medications for anxiety and or depression to cope with what life deals you! Life can be extremely tough for everyone at times. Sometimes you need an outsider to put things in perspective for you and give you tools to deal. I procrastinated, but before Jim died, I started seeing a counselor at the advice from my daughter Katie(smart girl) and I am a fan! Please never ever hesitate to go you wont regret it. To have someone to listen and offer advice can make a huge difference for coping! Once again Thank You to everyone in our lives for the love support and prayers over this past year! We will never forget! Thanks for letting me share.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 21:06:22 +0000
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