Right … so we had a short reprieve and we are back in the battle again. Last night I didn’t update because, once again I felt beaten down. I had one of those “You can’t be serious?” moments. I worked from home, because the power at the office was off. I was excited about my day off and looking forward to my well-earned Thai massage later. Then Jayden’s Neurologist called. She had examined the “discomfort” that Jay was in over the weekend. Before I left, I asked everyone to be careful with his left leg, because it was in pain (I thought he’d pulled a muscle or something, or it could be the bed-sore on his butt). She took Jay down for an x-ray and found that he has a fractured femur, just below his hip! Here I was nagging the nurses to give my child Calpol, where he needed Voltaren! My poor, brave boy! I felt like screaming, I felt numb, I felt sad – unable to cry anymore… I felt the weight of it all crushing me. Poor Jayden … and yes, I feel sorry for me too. I felt bad because I didn’t know it was broken, but I’m also not being hard on myself, because you just don’t know! You know he’s in pain, but it could be so many things, you don’t automatically assume a bone is broken. He gets sore from his spasticity and tight muscles often, also he wasn’t crying hectically or screaming in pain, like last time he broke the right femur… so how was I to know? I walked over to my dear friend Lisa (2 doors down) to commiserate and lick my wounds. Her son Keanu had a fractured femur last week. We had giggle in a not funny ha ha, but funny, let’s laugh lest we cry moment. It is weird the year the two of us have had. Jay went in for the baclofen pump and the results, with the spinal leak were not great. Lisa went down to Durban to get special, expensive therapy for Keanu and the results were less than stellar (same week). Then Keanu went into hospital because he wouldn’t wake up and was having lots of seizures. He got submitted to ICU and we nearly lost him. Same week – Jay’s lung collapsed and we nearly lost him. Last week fractured Femur for Keanu (she also did the Calpol thing because he just seemed niggly, same as Jay) and here we go with Jay. Of course the other similarities – Jay and Keanu are at the same school, in the same class, haven’t been to school in ages because we are monitoring them so carefully. They have the same neurologist, physio and other therapists/doctors. They are the same age and live in the same complex, two doors down, have CP and both are spastic quadriplegic, and have two tired, stressed out, single moms … that love their kids with their every breath. So I was grateful for the well-earned Thai Massage and the good night’s rest. Jay has a busy day today. He is currently in traction until they figure out what they are going to do with the fracture. He is getting a CT scan on his chest and femur/hip, a bone density scan, broncheoscopy, X-ray on the hip/femur break and botox of his upper limbs today. All-in-all he will probably be under anaesthetic for 2 hours. Then the orthopaedic surgeon will decide whether he will do the hip surgery he had planned to do later this year in this week. The break seems to be in the general area of where he was going to cut anyway or whether the break is not in a great position and he will have to keep Jay in traction, in hospital for 4 -6 weeks. I feel like I have lived this year in hospital. I’m not giving up, I’m not beaten down, even though I’ve taken another beating. I’m not depressed, although I am tired and feel breathless. I’m not giving up on my promised miracle for Jayden, because you know what? The battle is always the most intense when you are taking territory and finally win the war. So we fight on. I trust in our God and feel His strength carrying me through this. I fight the battle in front of me, the step ahead of me and know He has my back as well as goes before me. I’m not hiding, I am fighting. Guys Jay’s healing is close … Keep up the fight with us. Let’s keep on going and trusting. Thank you for your love and support.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:32:16 +0000
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