Saint Valentine was, in fact, a brutal Carthaginian Emperor who - TopicsExpress

Saint Valentine was, in fact, a brutal Carthaginian Emperor who ruled much of Central Europe from AD 74-102. He would nullify opposing armies, cutting out their hearts and presenting them to their wives alongside a small cuddly bear holding a flag saying I wuv woo and a box of Lindor. In his prime he slaughtered much of Luxembourg. Today men across the world mark this genocide by purchasing a shitty bunch of half-dead chrysanthemums from the garage on their way home from work and spending the night on the sofa.

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