Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element is Governmentium (Gv). Its atomic number is currently 536. This is subject to change, slowly over time. Its atomic mass is comprised of 1 proton, and a bicameral system of 535 neutrons; which is further divided into 25 assistant neutrons, 125 deputy neutrons and 385 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 536. In its outer shell it has 536 electron-like particles called morons. All these particles are held together by forces called peons. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentiums mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to currently believe that Governmentium is only formed whenever peon forces reach a critical point of concentration, which it is currently thought to be every fall in early November. Governmentium is inert. Although (Gv) is inert; it can only be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even one atom of Governmentium present in chambers causes a massive delayed chain reaction. Processes that should normally take only a few hours or days to complete, can suddenly take up to four years or more to finish or otherwise resolve. It was only discovered because, accidentally, the element of money was introduced into chambers... and when catalysed with money; Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. Vast sums of money are consumed in the exchange. Yet, no other by-products are produced.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 13:13:06 +0000
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