Second time around When we discovered that both Marco and Daniel were possibly on the spectrum as well it hit us like a tonne of bricks. We were gutted and the mountain of challenges all of the sudden seemed ten miles higher. The hurdles seemed overwhelming, extreme and at times impossible and I often felt like throwing the towel in the ring, but knew that it was not an option. I could never give up on my boys – no matter what life threw at me! They were brought into this world because we wanted them here, so the responsibility for their lives and well-being was completely on our shoulders and it was our job as parents to make sure they were taken care of in the best way possible. The sadness and grief were still as hard as the first time around. We felt every bit of the emotions all over again and our hearts got broken yet again. It was a tough time to come to terms with and it took a while to adjust to the thought. However, the grief and sadness were much quicker to recover from second time around. We knew exactly what we had to do, who we had to talk to, where we had to go and what we had to say. The process was much easier and less stressful and we felt we landed on our feet running. Through the years of being involved with Michael we had developed a strong circle of intelligent and professional people all over Melbourne who we had come to trust and knew we could rely on for support. We knew that this circle of professionals would have our backs and help us out when it was needed. We learnt to appreciate everyone in the process and made sure we always told people how much we appreciated their help, because we really did. We made a conscious choice of never burning any bridges behind us, because we never knew when we needed someone’s help again. Our circle was built of neutral respect and it was such a comfort to know they were there for us again. People often ask me “how do you do it?” Well, the truth is that I don’t know anything else. I have never had the opportunity to have a normal developed child, so I don’t know what it would be like. I have grown accustomed to my situation and have changed and adjusted my life to our challenge. Having 3 children on the spectrum is normal for us and we don’t think of our lives as anything less than others. We don’t feel that it’s abnormal or that we are different in any way. Our family is what we make it to be and it will always just be our family.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:15:27 +0000
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