September 1st 2012, I remember it like yesterday! I was up really early making Leukemia awareness ribbons for my nieces fundraiser, when my grandpa knocked on my door and asked for my help. He was in a state of shock and didnt know what to do. Little did I know, that my grandmother was upstairs having a cardiac arrest. I raced up 2 flights of stairs and seen my grandmother in pain and immediately called 911. At that moment I felt like time had stopped and I was a million people. I was trying to calm my grandpa who was pacing back and forth, I was on the line with the dispatcher, I was holding my grandmothers hand and telling her it would all be ok, I was calling my mom and uncle to come asap.. I felt like I had no emotions.. I couldnt cry I couldnt react.. my grandmother was pretty much unconscious at this point.. She was very forcefully complaining about her pain but no words. I asked her numerous of times if she knew who I was and she held my hand even stronger. I told her to please answer me, that I needed her to be strong and the paramedics would be there soon. I said grandma please tell me you know who I am. Again, she squeezed my hand and said Jackie. . Her voice faded so fast.. I told her I loved her and that I would be there with her.. when the paramedics arrived, I told her they were going to help her and she squeezed my hand even harder and said he last words to me.. Porfavor no me desampares . The paramedics took over and made me leave the room.. she was taken to a nearby hospital where we all waited day after day, with hope that she would once again be conscious.. We prayed, we sang to her, we spoke to her, in Hope that she was listening to everything we were saying. September 1-5 where the worst days of my life! I can say I saw everyone in my immediate family in their weakest point in their life!! On September 5, around 1:45 am, I had gone home to rest when I received the call, that my grandmother was in her last minutes of her life. My HUSBAND and I rushed to the hospital to say our goodbyes. I held my grandmothers hand and I told her no te desampare . I gave her a kiss on the cheek and felt her skin change from warm to come, almost instantly, as if her soul was leaving her body!! Since that moment I have never been the same. I lost a part of me that I would NEVER get back. On Friday, it will be 2 years since my grandmothers passing... and since then I have avoided thinking about her as much as I can because it only tears me down. No one will ever UNDERSTAND what I went through that day.. for months I wasnt able to cry or grieve like I hoped to.. I was trying to be the strong one for my family. From comforting my mom, my.siblings and even my grandfather.. I miss her with all my heart
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 14:03:50 +0000
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