Seriously, though. No BS, right now I want to completely change my major. I dont want to be a music major anymore. I dont aspire to be an opera singer or the like. I feel like Im destroying myself doing all this hard work toward a degree that wont even get me anywhere I want to be. I want to start over, regardless of the fact that Ive already poured 3 years of my life into this major. Whats a few extra years if I can actually feel like Im in the right place? Though its KIND OF not the main point here... Something thats sounded really appealing lately is graphic design. I dont draw anymore. It used to be my life, and I miss it. I constantly find myself in situations where artistic skill and facilities would benefit me greatly. I can see myself devoting my time and efforts to that kind of work, as opposed to devoting all my time to rehearsing or studying music history/theory, which I have never found captivating -- and, honestly, I should have admitted that to myself years ago. I know this keeps on happening. Ive come to the conclusion that MAYBE I keep feeling this way because a career in classical music just isnt for me. I dont want to torture myself anymore. I need something to change. SOMETHING. Im not motivated. Im tired and feel like Im stuck in a rut. Im not saying I dont respect and appreciate every single person Ive met in the department over the last few years, and Im not saying Ive set my decision in stone. This is just how I feel right now (and have felt for a while) and I really need guidance -- from everyone, student or not, musician or not.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 19:54:25 +0000
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