Setting limits is a positive marker of your knowledge of your self-worth. When limits are not set on poor treatment by others you cannot grow. In order to grow you must embrace that you get to choose or hand-pick what you will and will not tolerate. Most of us do not set limits out of the fear of loss. What are we really going to lose, however, by setting limits on those who are not treating us with respect. We show we respect ourselves when we have the courage to state what is ok with us and what isnt. We teach people how to treat us. If we never say no then we are teaching people they can do whatever they want to us and they assume we are ok with it. People respect a no when they get one. They may not like it but they will respect it because we will give them no other choice. If we set a limit on someone and they get angry and/or threaten to leave .... dont bite. Its just manipulation. If they can provoke fear and guilt in us in an effort to get us not to say no, then they will continue to treat us terribly. If we can show that we are going to say no and stick to it regardless of their bait, then they will see us differently and either leave or they will take time to evaluate themselves and how they have treated us and they may apologize and show a shift in their treatment of us. Just like that we have created a healing either way. If they leave or we ask them to leave and we open up space in our life for better relationships, or they accept our limit, take ownership and they treat us better and with more respect. The best reward, however, is that by loving ourselves we improve your lives.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 12:00:00 +0000
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