Several of you know Jim and I went on a vacation to Boston and Bermuda a few weeks ago. I was going to write something sooner about the fantastic beaches, the beautiful island scenery, all the history, the fun pubs, and so on. But, Jim was worried that I’d write something negative about him so he took the batteries out the computer keyboard and it took me quite a while to find them. Since he did that, instead of all the great things I could write about, I’m going to tell everyone what a wuss he was. Remember how he’s been faking that lung disease? He tried to use that as an excuse the whole trip. It all started with the packing. We weren’t sure what we were going to do and I wanted to pack something for any situation that might come up. Jim claimed that because he’s sick he can’t carry more than 6 or 8 suitcases anymore, and he insisted he needed one just for all his breathing apparatus. What a waste! That’s one less suitcase for me. Who cares if he can or can’t breathe? Anyway, I could only take about half the clothes I wanted and didn’t have things for every situation. Example? I had to leave all my snow clothes home. Fortunately, the temperature in Bermuda was in the 80’s and it was humid. It didn’t snow while I was there and I didn’t need my snow clothes. If it had snowed and I didn’t have them, he’d now have 2 broken legs and would need a wheel chair besides that stupid, useless oxygen tank he carries everywhere. I really had to cram the things I did take into the few bags he could carry. Good thing, my bikini was pretty skimpy and didn’t take up much room. As for Jim, he was limited to the clothes he was wearing when we left. He couldn’t carry enough suitcases to have one for himself. Being hot and humid, by the end of the trip his clothes had a distinct odor and I noticed people tried to avoid getting too close to him. Because of oxygen levels, he’s supposed to stay under 4,000 feet. Unfortunately for me, airplane cabins are pressured at 8,000 feet. That means he thinks he needs a special oxygen concentrator on the plane to be able to breathe. His insurance company won’t cover the costs of renting a concentrator (finally, somebody believes me when I say he’s faking it). Don’t believe Jim’s claims that the insurance company is just too cheap to pay for the concentrator. Rental costs are pretty expensive and take away from my drinking money. A couple-three rentals cost more than buying a portable concentrator, so he bought one. I should say he bought a cheap one. The batteries only last about 7 ½ hours. The flight was supposed to be 6 hours and he should have been ok. However, when we got to Boston, Logan Field was fogged in. I’m not sure how he did it, but I’m sure the fog was his fault. Anyway, whatever he did back-fired. The plane couldn’t land and we got diverted to Manchester in New Hampshire. Once there, we had to sit in the plane for an hour. After the hour, the fog in Boston had lifted and we flew back. The total flight took about 9 hours and he ran out of air. Boy was he whiny, complaining that he was having trouble breathing (that’s a common excuse he uses to get attention). Because the seat belt sign was on, I had to sit there and listen to him. Geez!!! Boston was a pretty neat place and I loved it. The people were really friendly. They’d stop us on the street, ask us where we’re from, and offer to help us find wherever we were headed. Seems they loved to tell Jim where he could go. The city’s pretty compact too. Between the subway and the buses, we were able to go all over the place and see a lot of historical things. The only drawback was Jim. He insisted he drag that stupid concentrator everywhere we went and he refused to walk up stairs and hills. That meant we couldn’t go into some of the historic buildings, Bunker Hill, or below deck on the Constitution. Next day, we got on the boat. I was hoping it would be the Love Boat, but all Jim wanted to do was sleep. He claimed walking around Boston wore him out. He uses that “exhausted” excuse whenever he doesn’t want to do something. That’s ok, I bought a drink card that allowed me to drink as much as I wanted of anything I wanted any time I wanted. The card was pretty cheap too, only $8,446.99 for the 8 day cruise. The ship’s signature drink was rum punch. I was in rum punch heaven. Bermuda has 3 main areas; the Dockyards, St George, and Hamilton (the Capital). Since we were there 3 days, we spent a day in each area. The first day was Sunday and most places on the island were closed. However because of the cruise ships, everything at the Dockyards was open. We just walked around, going to the National Museum and wandering the shops. We had lunch at one of my favorite pubs, the Frog and Onion. You’ll never guess what happened, Jim claimed exhaustion. I sent him back to the ship and dashed back to the Frog and Onion. They brew their own beers and on Sunday afternoons, they give out all the free samples you want. Monday, we bought a day pass for the bus and water taxi and toured the island. The buses are painted pink and have an infamous reputation. The roads are narrow and winding, and the bus drivers have lead feet. They’d speed, come to a curve, and slam on the brakes. They probably go through a set of brakes every couple days. Being part of the British Commonwealth, they drive on the wrong side of the road and it seems the yellow stripe in the middle of the road is a suggestion, not a rule. It’s a local joke that you’re lucky to survive the ride. Bought the T-shirt that says I survived the pink buses. A characteristic of the bus drivers, they love to talk. We sat behind the drivers and they pointed out the places of interest as we went by them. A driver also told us they have no natural sources of fresh water (lakes and rivers) and they rely totally on rainwater, which they collect through a system of cisterns. Luckily for them, it rains a lot or they wouldn’t have any water to drink and they’d all smell like Jim. The pass allowed us to jump on and off the bus at any stop. Horseshoe bay is one of the stops. It’s considered one of the best beaches in the world. Something unique to Bermuda, the beaches, including Horseshoe bay, have pink sand. Remind me and I’ll show you, I made Jim buy me a necklace made out of the sand. Boy did he whine that I made him buy me something, the skinflint. We got off the bus and walked down to the beach. It was about a quarter mile straight down. I thought the beach was great and went in the water. It was deep blue and warm. All my pathetic husband did was complain about the waves coming too close to his concentrator and how he was getting sand in it. Then when it was time to go, he said he couldn’t walk back up the hill. We had to get a taxi to take us up. When we got to the top, Jim asked the driver how much we owed him. He said a dollar. Jim pulled a handful of cash out of his pocket. He had 4 one dollar bills. The driver said that’ll do, grabbed the 4 dollars, and took off. I wanted Jim to chase after him, but he said he couldn’t because of his concentrator (which I don’t think he really needs) and even without that he said he couldn’t catch a speeding cab. It was only doing about 40 (too old and too slow?). Eventually, we ended up in St. George and went to the local fort. The island was settled in the early 1600’s and over the years the British built a series of stone forts. The forts have shear, thick stone walls and some of the best ocean views on the island. Also, the exhibits at the forts are really worth seeing. We walked around St. George for a while, had a late lunch, and jumped on the local water taxi for a ride back to the dockyards. Surprise, Surprise, Jim said he was tired and went to bed. By now, our cabin steward was asking if he was all right because he was in bed so much. They didn’t figure out he was faking and I think they set up a cabin watch to make sure he didn’t die on them. As for me, I still had my drink card. The third day we strolled around Hamilton. Hamilton is the Capital and the business center. Kind of strange, businessmen wear a coat and tie, and Bermuda shorts with knee high socks. It was funny watching them walk around or sitting in the local outdoor coffee shops. Same as always, Jim said he was too tired to do much. By now, the ship’s bartenders knew me and I didn’t even have to ask, they always had my drink ready. I’ve been to a dozen or so countries and about 30 States. Of all my travels, Bermuda is one of my favorite places. If you ever get a chance, I’d really recommend going there. Besides the beaches, there’s a lot of history. Buildings going back to the 1600’s, great museums, artifacts salvaged from ships that sunk on local reefs as far back as the 1500’s, and even though my namby-pamby husband wouldn’t do it, there are over 400 ship wrecks that you can dive or scuba to. They also have several world-class golf courses, if you’re into that kind of thing. One thing to keep in mind, though, just about everything is imported, even their Bermuda shorts, and everything is expensive. A bus driver told us gas is $8.50 a gallon and each of the pub lunches cost us $40 to $60. I’d go back to Bermuda in a minute. But, I’d think seriously about leaving Jim home. Chris 9/20/13
Posted on: Fri, 20 Sep 2013 23:53:08 +0000
Trending Topics
© 2015