So, I have a fear of dark bathrooms; and once the light is on I have to look all around the floor, and then continue to look at the floor every few seconds no matter what Im doing. Doing my hair, using the toilet, brushing my teeth, or even just standing in there talking to Cory while hes getting ready for the day. Why do I have a fear, and why do I do this? (I know you didnt ask, but Im going to pretend you did ... and it is a FABULOUS question) Some people have heard this story, and some people were actually there for the event that took place two years ago. But since I had a dream about it last night, I felt like sharing it with yall now. Bear with me as I set up this story: Two summers ago, Corys and my best friends were finally getting married. (And I say finally, because no two people belong together like they do, and youll see why in their story, Sharing You, and hopefully agree) They got married at The Vineyard at Florence (Forgiving Lies, anyone?) and it has to be the most beautiful place for a wedding. One side of the property looks like pure Texas country. The other looks like something that belongs in Italy. A bunch of us (including the bride and groom until the wedding) stayed in a huge villa that weekend that was to die for. Friday night we had Martini Friday. And Martini Friday with that group means you keep drinking until you go to sleep. Sometime during that weekend we ran out of vermouth and just had straight vodka martinis, I screech/sang We Are Young while Cory tried to teach everyone the lyrics, and Im pretty sure everyone in that house was hugged by Cory (not a touchy feely person), but that doesnt matter so much right now. After Martini Friday, Cory and I made our way to our room. I woke up probably an hour or so later because I had to pee, and I was still way past tipsy at this point. We had this huge window with the moon shining directly into it, so I just opened up the bathroom door and didnt bother with the light. Well, tipsy Molly must have forgotten she was on the toilet, and my face met the marble countertop next to me that was so so cool, and I decided I never wanted to leave because it felt amazing right there. On the toilet. With my cheek pressed against the cool marble. A while later I felt something on my leg, and not wanting to move from my amazing space, I kicked my leg out and shook it before going back to my comfy place. A minute or so later, I felt it again and shook my leg. When I felt it a third time, I decided to look at my leg. In the dark on the toilet with my chin resting on my knee, I stared at a big brown lump and my first thought was, WHY AM I LOSING SO MUCH HAIR!? Because when youre tipsy, you can lose mass amounts of your hair, and it will bunch up on the middle of your shin and just sit there. Right about the time I had that thought, a tail curled up over the hair clump and I SCREAMED. Like, screamed bloody murder, there was a freaking scorpion on my leg, and Id never seen one in my life - type of scream, then flung my leg so hard that the scorpion went flying off and landed about halfway between me and the door. (From Ashes, anyone?) I kept screaming for Cory who was only about 15-20 feet away from me, and finally he comes running in, flipped on the light, and started coming toward me. I yelled, NO NO NO, DONT! Its right there! and pointed at the tile that was almost the same shade as the scorpion, and Cory gives me this cold glare and says, You woke me up because of a scorpion? Really, Molly? Im sobbing and on the verge of hyperventilating at this point, and finally he comes out of his tipsy mind and realizes how scared I am, and goes to get one of his shoes. He comes back and kneels on the ground behind the scorpion that is facing me, and slams his shoe down so hard that it hurt my ears. When he lifted his shoe, I kid you not (and you can ask Cory) the scorpion turned around to face Cory, like, The eff was that for? Cory proceeds to let out a huge war cry and starts slamming his shoe down OVER and OVER again until the beast was dead. Im still crying and now hyperventilating, and now we have to go through ALL our clothes, shoes, and suitcases because wed opened them and just left them on the floor that afternoon. The scorpion didnt sting me, Cory thinks its because I was immobile for so long that it didnt find me threatening and I flung it off before it could react. That is how this California girl found out that scorpions reside in Texas, and that is how I had my very first encounter and decided to change part of From Ashes to fit it in there - although I did dramatize it. I have never in my life been so terrified. I dont remember how many scorpions we ended up finding in that villa that weekend. And to this day, I am (like I said) scared of dark bathrooms and stare at the floor while Im in one even if the lights are on.
Posted on: Wed, 11 Jun 2014 13:58:32 +0000
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