So I heard the other day that zoo keepers in Devon have banned bananas from the diet of all their monkeys. Why? Because theyve figured out that the monkeys are much nicer, well adjusted monkeys when theyre not all hopped up on an extremely high sugar diet like bananas. (In case youre wondering, in the wild monkeys feed on fruit rarely). So while reading this I couldnt help but wonder, If the zoo keepers can get the primate population of an entire zoo off sugar and see the benefits, why is it so bloody hard for parents to say No when their little monkeys are screeching for another Mars bar at the checkout of the local super market? I guess it just comes down to good old fashioned laziness. Its far easier to hand the poorly behaved chimps another treat than to put up with half an hour of them whining and crying and rolling on the floor. Its like, Here little Johnny, just shove this sugar bomb down your neck and shut the hell up long enough for us to escape back to the car before you embarrass me any further in the middle of the shops. Personally, I love nothing more than seeing a strong parent denying a sugary satan treat to some writhing, ill tempered, rude little shit in the middle of Bi-Lo. Its priceless. No, instead society ends up with a troop of selfish, poorly behaved monkeys passing themselves off as humans. The same sort of monkeys like the ones in Bali that come down out of the trees in tourist spots looking all cute and cuddly, then when you least expect it, grab your sunnies and camera nick off back up into the trees. Years pass, and the poorly fed, poorly behaved monkeys continue their selfish ways, until finally the matriarch of the troop ends up at the front counter of the local Police station. At this time she asks for assistance to bring her rabble to some sort of order so she can sleep at night. Shes all, Awe me son wont listen to me, he throws poo at the neighbours and masturbates in front of guests! Cant you do anything? News flash monkey woman! If you had stopped plying your offspring with sugar laden shit all their lives and pulled em into line before they were five the rest us wouldnt have to put up with and pay for your socially inept, brain dead, planet of the apes style primates! So my point is zoo keepers, keep your little marmosets and tamarinds off the bananas and they will be far easier to handle and in general wont feel the need to throw poo. Thats all for now..........
Posted on: Sun, 19 Jan 2014 09:25:11 +0000
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