So Im very confused right now. I see a beautiful sky, lovely sun, great weather, a picture perfect skyline, a calm pond. Wait, thats no pond! Thats the 1st stage skimming pool for the KC Waste Water management facility! A breeze picks up from the West and I smell....cake? Vanilla? A touch of cinnamon and brown sugar? What is this magic? Ah! The Hostess plant is baking coffee cake! Yum! Then the wind shifts and..... I smell... ALL THE POOP IN THE CITY AT ONCE!!! The wind shifts again.... Crumb cake? Cupcakes? Why Yes please! Another wind shift and ALL THE EXCREMENT AND BAD FOOD DECISIONS OF 3 MILLION PEOPLE RAPE MY NOSE!!! Remember that venti vanilla caramel machiatto with extra foam that you poured half down the break room drain because you couldnt finish it? Well I can smell the part you finished And the part you didnt! And now it has extra Extra EXTRA foam!! Had BBQ and cheesey corn last night? YEAH, I KNOW YOU DID!! So, as the wind keeps shifting I alternate between salivating and gagging. This might be ok if the result is I turn away cake because it makes me retch. Not a bad weight-loss conditioning tactic. But Im gonna jump off a bridge if instead I get hungry every time someone changes a dirty diaper near me. Oh, no, now theyre making banana bread. Im gonna cry.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:02:43 +0000
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