So heres my latest idea for a true plutocracy, which seems to be the direction in which we are heading largely because of SCOTUS ruling on Citizens United and our seeming natural tendency to worship the rich. Sincere there are 535 members of the House and Senate combined, I suggest we revamp these bodies. The Senate will consist of the 100 top members of the Fortune 500 and the House will consist of the remaining members. The additional 35 will be the top money winners in each of the nations biggest lotteries. All will serve until they are either replaced by their boards or die. This will insure that women have about as much representation as they currently do now and will also insure that minorities have even less. There will no longer be states, but our states will become charities which benefit from the bounty of the Fortune Five-Hundreds gains or losses over a year. This will eliminate all state, county, and local government which will save everyone a lot of hassle. There will be no president as we know it, but the leader will be chosen from the retired emeritus members of this body, thus insuring the continuation of government by rich, old, white men who pull the strings, anyway. Foreign policy will be determined by the regions of the world that can be taken over by the new UCA...United Corporations of America. This will make sure that developing nations natural resources are properly sequestered for the wealthy, leaving the poor to die. The Defense Department will be contracted to Blackwater and the two Navy Seals who released classified information concerning the slaying of Osama Bin Laden. The Treasury will be run by Goldman Sachs. Agriculture by Archer Daniels Midland. The Department of Education and Prisons will be handled by the largest charter school operators in each state. Energy Secretary will come from Exxon-Mobile. The Department of Commerce will disappear, because all there will be will be commerce. Housing and Urban Development will be the responsibility of whichever wrecking crew can demolish the most housing in order to build the largest parking decks in the Alexandria, Fairfax, Silver Spring, Wheaton, and Reston areas because of the elimination of all mass transit. Transportation will be handled by a triumvirate of Ford, GM, and whats left of Chrysler in America. Undersecretaries will come from Toyota, Nissan, Kia and Hyundai. All other cabinet offices will be abolished in favor of removing most of their Washington DC headquarters and replacing them with more parking decks. The Department of the Interior will be eliminated along with the sale of all national parks. Exotic animals will be sent to the North Carolina Zoo and made available for corporate big game hunters who dont have the time to travel abroad to win their trophies. Health and Human Services will be headed by Dr. Rand Paul, though he will never be allowed to make policy and will contract with Fox News to be sure we all think we have the ebola virus. Labor, like Commerce will disappear along with the minimum wage. Cotton will be the major export and will be picked by slaves much like in the ante-bellum period of U.S. History, which will be forgotten by order of the GOP. Veterans Affairs and Homeland Security will be handled by non-veterans who like to wear uniforms and give crazy orders at airports. And finally, the CEO with the most appearances on CNBCs Squawk Box will each year be in line for the title of lyingest S.O.B. on the Planet. This is a precursor to the role of Leader.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 16:24:18 +0000
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