So last night was a first for us. Around midnight, my phone began to buzz. I did not recognize the number, so I did not answer it. After several calls in a row, Dawns phone began ringing as well. Knowing this could not be a coincidence or wrong number, she answered. The person on the other end was frantic and crying. It was our across the street neighbor. Her boyfriend had cold cocked her after a fight. This is a well dressed, well-mannered, well-employed attractive young woman who has been a wonderful neighbor. After getting an idea of what was going on, we got dressed and walked across the street to find a battered shell of a person barefoot and shirtless crying in the street as it began to rain. Her eyes swollen shut, she was humiliated and scared. In my work, I have encountered almost every type of person and situation you could think of. And for as much as I thought I would know what to say in a situation like this, I had no comforting words. All I could think of was calling the police and getting her to a hospital. She refused both because she was frightened and he is a Marine. And despite intellectual understanding and even training, im sure I said the wrong things. It made me think about the ways batterers elevate themselves to God like status, causing their victims to believe they can not report the crime. I am a fixer, and lack a general ability to counsel people. I told her to ice her eyes and to call us in the morning. I dont think either of us slept very much. I laid awake knowing I had not been as compassionate as I imagined I would be and that she could probably sense my frustration at her inaction. As I laid there, I realized that she was probably right to doubt that the police what do enough to warrant the call. This morning, her face is black, blue and mangled. And the man who assaulted her is free and serving our country. He should be in prison.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 14:09:53 +0000