So often, well-meaning people and organizations trying to help boost girls’ self-esteem will basically say, “You are beautiful just the way you are! Look at how beautiful you are!” and expect that that is what we need to hear to gain confidence. But flip the script – when was the last time you heard someone trying to help guys fix their self-worth issues by telling them how handsome they are? It doesn’t happen often, because guys are valued for more than how well they decorate the world. We are far more than pretty little decorations to adorn the world, and it turns out looks-based compliments don’t do much for our self-esteem issues. They reinforce that our looks are super important and they can be easily brushed off because of “flattering lighting” or “a good hair day.” Dig deep next time you want to give a compliment. If you give a looks-based compliment, pair it with a character-based compliment. Don’t skip out on the looks-oriented compliment, but don’t always stop there, either! Say something nice about who they are, what they do, and how much you care about them outside of how they look. Make a goal to compliment others for more than those easy comments on pretty hair, clothing, etc. While those compliments are nice, we can do better. When we minimize others to just their bodies, we forget to remind them of their beautiful talents, characters, and gifts! We are more than bodies, and we can be a powerful force in reminding others of that awesome truth.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 00:17:19 +0000
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