Some of you may not agree with this but too bad!! This is my rant! Lol. Dear Greek Yogurt, You are not dessert. Quit pretending that you are. You taste like regular yogurt with the added mustiness of mold. You are the blue cheese of yogurts. Also, light and creamy is not a flavor it is a texture. Please refer back to my previous sentence for a description of your flavor. Let me tell you a little story about the history of yogurt. Back when I was a child, when you saw someone eating yogurt, you immediately assumed they were on a diet. Often times they ate it furtively as if ashamed that they had to resort to eating curdled milk to get thin. Oh they added fruit, granola, and anything else they could think of just to choke the stuff down. Fast forward to today, the yogurt industry has improved its image and maybe the taste has improved a little as well. Then you come along like Gods gift to dieters. You even hire Uncle Jessie to help promote your image. Oh its so good. Its better than yogurt,its GREEK yogurt. Everything is better in Greece. Thicker and creamier for me just means even harder to suppress my gag reflex long enough to swallow you. Enjoy your time in the fashionable food spot light, Greek Yogurt. It wont be long before youre sitting in the corner with the grapefruit and the pomegranate asking what happened. But they loved me youll say. No. They loved the idea of you. They loved convincing themselves that eating you was like eating a dessert. Maybe a delicious custard. And they tried to ignore that nasty, tangy, moldy aftertaste and assured themselves that you were so good for them it was all worth it. The carried you to lunch showing you off like a Louise Vuitton hand bag. But then, something new and probably equally nasty (Kale perhaps?) came along and you became a thing of the past. Oh yes, Greek Yogurt, I live for the day when you are just some strange unheard of snack relegated to the small refrigerator section in an obscure mom and pop health food store. The thing people only buy to improve the health of their digestive system (youre job is to help them poop regularly). I despise you, Greek Yogurt, Nay, I LOATHE you. You are possibly the worst thing I have had the misfortune of putting in my mouth and on top of that you lied to me. You made me believe you were a good tasting health food when I should have known better. Nothing that is good for you tastes good too and anyone who says otherwise is either fooling themselves or have never gotten over their childhood crush on John Stamos.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 14:14:55 +0000
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