Somewhere, in this vast universe resides an alien race of kleptomaniacs who periodically come to Earth to aquire new items that the human race never seems to miss until they actually need it. Astronauts will discover the Klepto planet and will have jaw dropping, gob-smacked, surreal moments looking at posh houses made from yellow number two pencils, couches refurbished from red and black lady bug socks, and sidewalks crafted from hot pink flip flops. In revenge, the human race will send the Klepto people, during cultural exchanges, boxes and boxes of lights disguised as one of the greatest advancements in the human race. But these will not be ordinary lights; instead, they will be the dreaded Christmas lights. On the front of the box it will say, "Handle With Care," not due to the fragility of the lights but due to the fragility of the mind forced to handle the lights. For, it is a proven fact that during the feverish thirty days of attempting to untangle the tangled lights, most people will undergo one mental break down, two deranged tirades, and at least four maddening, chair-throwing rants before giving up, throwing the lights back into the box, and hurriedly rushing to the store to buy more lights.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Jun 2013 01:51:12 +0000
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