Spoiler Alert: I will be discussing plot details of the Transformers movie. - - - - - - - - - -- - Okay, so I went into this movie knowing it was going to be bad. I was prepared to be glad if the movie was decent and entertaining because, you know, giant robots fighting giant robots. How do you screw that up? Well expansive plots holes throughout, poor to non-existent character development, bad acting, cheesy/cliche dialogue, and a painfully contrived story is a good way to do just that. The chase scenes were so shaky that it was hard to tell what was going on at the best of times and at the worse it was motion-sickness inducing. (Note: I do NOT get motion sick, Its happened like maybe three times in my life. Im the kid that can read while driving down the windiest road you can think of and not be sick. Thats how terrible these scenes were.) The fight scenes were what I expected to redeem this movie. They were shaky too, and they were unable to provoke that sense of danger and tension the other movies did. It was cool to see Optimus Prime riding a dragon/dinosaur mix thing into battle yet the fighting abilities of the the respective combatants changed with each fight. In the beginning, no Autobot could stand a chance against the main enemy yet the are scenes where somehow they are able to kick his tail. Optimus is able to subdue the massive ancient robots and thereby earn their service for the final battle yet he cant stand up to a robot thats slighty smaller than himself. Megatron is brought back to life yet doesnt fight. He runs away so as to set up a sequel. As seems the norm at this point, a new set up autobots are brought in, except for Optimus and Bumble Bee. Sometimes these characters had their moments, and they were charmingly an funny despite their rough edges but then there are lines that are so blatantly boring and unnecessary. I cant remember the exact lines because Im writing this at 2 AM and Ill be honest I tried to forget them. But to explain what they were, they were basically the character narrating their actions at the moment as they are doing the action. Just inane bullshit. The character development seemed to happen without any actual prompting. As in, the characters develop even though nothing caused development. Or, worse yet, they didnt develop. The writers occasionally got it right, like with Optimuss development but it doesnt make up for the fact that for one scene the boyfriend was cowardly yet the rest not so. He was a rally car racer that jumped out of a five story window in his rally car with his girlfriend in the car with him. The character was no coward. Then there is the fact that Optimus at the begin is very very close to death and says, I need to meet up with my Autobots and they can fix me. However, on the way to meet up with the Autobots he scans a semi truck and is immediately healed. Plot holes like that exist through out the movie but there are some that even harken back to the previous movies plots. Product placement was rampant from BB throwing an enemy robot through an empty Victoria Secret bus in middle of Hong Kong t Mark Whalburg and cast crashing through a Bud Light Truck after which he proceeds to grab a bottle and drink. The story is that the government has turned on the Autobots and are hunting them. They try to defend this with some rationale but it is flimsy in several places. This movie isnt just bad, its so beyond irritating and disappointing that I was tempted to ask for my money back. I didnt and I wouldnt but bloody hell I was tempted. If I never see this movie again itll be too soon. I cant put into words the depths my disappointment given the time but all the same I warn everyone away. This isnt worth the price of admission and it wasnt worth half-price.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 07:16:04 +0000
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