Staging is common with personality disordered abusers. They will - TopicsExpress

Staging is common with personality disordered abusers. They will attack or provoke the target, then record what the target does in response, then spin this as a claim they are the victims of abuse. For example, the abuser may verbally berate, threaten, and intimidate the target then record the understandably upset response. Then this recorded response may be used to convince many other people the victim is the abuser and the abuser is the victim. A common means of staging is to play passive/aggressive games with the target parent using actions that cannot be well documented. For instance, the PDA may jerk around the exchange schedule unpredictably, request alterations, then refuse to respond to communications about the request. She may then “change her mind” at the last possible minute and then blame the target parent for being uncooperative and not communicating. This is spot on with what I deal with now and below what I dealt with before I got rid of him (he being the lying manipulative wife and me being the accused husband of cheating, etc)...and now I have to deal with his immature flying monkeys threatening me like Im really worried about them Psshhhh... For instance, she herself may be having an affair about which her husband knows nothing or is engaging in drug abuse. She therefore distorts his expressed concerns about her emotional distance and unavailability and what he’s shared about trying to deal with the situation into false accusations of him having an affair or that she’s afraid of him because he’s a violent drug abuser. She will probably spread these lies to dozens of people over a period of months or years, building lie upon lie until the people she is manipulating generally think the husband is a promiscuous and violent drug abuser. Although they have no observations themselves to confirm this and it is not objectively true, they believe it anyway because the wife is so emotionally intense and effective at her manipulation.

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