Stop Saying These 5 Phrases From the Pulpit by Bryan Roberts There are some things I wish I had never said when I was holding the microphone. Words communicate more than we think. Like Martin Scorsese films or every woman I’ve ever met, sentences are wonderfully complicated and filled with subtle and not-so-subtle nuances. For example, if you interrupt your friend in the middle of his story to exclaim, “I am so thirsty!” you are sending multiple messages: 1) I have a need. 2) Will you help me with my need? 3) Your story is not very interesting. Words have power. Sentences have meaning. But this is a concept that many church leaders fail to grasp. I know because I failed brilliantly. I spent 15 years in full-time ministry, speaking from a variety of pulpits and platforms. And in all that time, I never realized the mixed messages I was sending to polite congregants who nodded with blank expressions, hoping their courtesy might expedite my naïve declarations. Two years ago I walked away from the ministry, quitting cold turkey. And I’ve spent these past 24 months sitting in a congregation and listening—really listening. I’ve come to discover there are some things I wish I had never said when I was holding the microphone. Allow me to share some of those with you ... Here are five things you should stop saying from the pulpit (and the reasons why): 1. Make sure you bring your unsaved friends to our special service next week because we are going to give them an opportunity to get saved. This is the most egregious of pastoral blunders. First of all, it assumes there are no unsaved people in attendance this week. If this is your assumption as a pastor or church leader, you need to re-evaluate ... everything. Secondly, the people in your church should want to bring their unsaved friends every weekend, not just on special “evangelism Sundays.” Church members want to know that their pastor is going to give a compelling message that will call people to follow Jesus each and every Sunday. Last but not least, this sounds like a classic “bait and switch.” Bring your friends to our big event, and we’ll spring the sales pitch on ‘em! Friendship requires honesty—your congregation isn’t comfortable with this evangelism technique. 2. Please pray for me as your pastor. I come under greater attack because of my calling. This is a statement that screams self-importance. And every time you make it, half the congregation is indulging in an exaggerated eye roll. When you propagate the theory that you have the largest bullseye on your back, you elevate the importance of your struggles and diminish the struggles of those you are called to serve. Let me be honest: We know you’re a great pastor, but we’re not convinced there is a “Wanted” poster of you hanging in hell’s post office. Pray for people rather than insisting they pray for you. Remember, the pastor’s job is not to save the lost, build the kingdom and stand against the devil. The pastor’s job is to equip the church to do those things (see Ephesians 4:11-12). 3. I just need to get away to hear from God. Other variations to avoid are: “I need a sabbatical,” “My wife and I are going on a prayer retreat,” or any phase that includes the words “ ... season of rest ... .” Think about it for a minute. On a regular basis, you preach how important it is for the people in your church to spend time with God and how they can hear from the Lord in their prayer time. But in order for you to do those things, you have to go on some sort of spiritual walkabout? What does that say to the average guy who works 50 hours a week just to pay the bills? How is he supposed to hear from God if he can’t retreat to a cabin in the Rockies? 4. Church attendance is vitally important for your faith. Recently, I heard a minister say it this way: “You don’t have to go to church in order to be a Christian, but you do have to go to church in order to be a good Christian.” Wow! There are about 14 things wrong with that statement. Since leaving the ministry, I’ve come to learn that lightening doesn’t strike when I miss a weekend at church. And as crazy as it sounds, I can even miss two weekends in a row without having a crisis of faith. Trust me, this is something the people in your church have discovered, too. If you put together an engaging service, preach a compelling gospel and help people when they’re hurting, you won’t have to convince people to show up at church. They’ll want to come—even if it’s not every weekend. 5. This is the best church in the world. We know you’re excited about the church—we are, too! But every time you say “we’re the best church,” you add to an unhealthy competitive spirit that exists between the churches in our city. We’re already dealing with the banner battles, door hanger duels and flyer fights that go on each week as our neighborhood churches compete in a marketing steel cage death match. All of this creates a tension that we feel more than you do. Our relatives go to a church on the other side of town, and our friends go to the church down the street. It’s a little awkward at soccer games and barbecues without words like “best ever” and “world’s greatest” being thrown around. Just tell us you love your church. That’s enough for us, because we love our church, too. Well, there it is. That’s my list of things you should stopping saying from the pulpit. What do you think? Am I right or wrong? Did I miss any? churchleaders/pastors/pastor-articles/170615-bryan-roberts-saying-these-5-phrases-from-the-pulpit.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=clnewsletter&utm_content=CL+Daily+20131004
Posted on: Sat, 05 Oct 2013 01:02:20 +0000
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