Strong blended families require lots of grace, mercy, patience and forgiveness So many blended families struggle to succeed due to all the relationship baggage they have brought with them from the previous families that are no longer together. Letting go of each item on a potentially long list of offenses that you have suffered is one of the most difficult things a person has to do to be able to cleanly move on in their new life. One thing that might help is to realize that others more than likely have YOU on their list as well. With each exit comes a new entrance. When you enter into your next relationship did you pack an overnight bag or a steamer trunk full of past offenses? When a farmer starts preparing a new field for planting, the last thing he wants in it is weeds from his old field. Grace – getting something good that you don’t deserve, as in receiving a gift from a friend. Mercy – NOT getting something you DO deserve as in some sort of penalty for breaking the law. Patience – the ability to be slow to take on an offense from someone even though it hurts at that moment. Forgiveness – a selfish act that gives you freedom from the negativity that you usually express towards others during the time you are hanging on to an offense. Why is forgiveness a selfish act? Because it’s something you do for you. It’s not something you do for someone else. Many make the mistake of believing that if they forgive another person for some offense that was committed again them, that they will somehow let that person off the hook for their crime and there will be no justice. The real injustice is the suffering you end up going through sometimes for many years, holding on to the bitterness and resentment against that person. You are giving that person a lot of power over you that they really don’t have. Blended families need all of the four items discussed above. There are many more challenges blended families have to face because there are many more wounded people involved. That’s why it’s usually a good idea to take the time to heal your own wounds and help any children involved heal theirs before starting a new relationship. The more wounded we are, the more likely we are to wound someone else. Misery loves company! The person(s) that we hurt the most is generally the one(s) we are closest to – both in distance and in relationship.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 23:09:05 +0000
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