Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, Im Stupid. That way you wouldnt rely on them, would you? You wouldnt ask them anything. It would be like, Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didnt see your sign. Its like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor came over and said, Hey, you moving? Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Heres your sign. A couple of months ago, I went fishing with a buddy of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol string of bass, and this idiot on the dock asked, Hey, yall catch all them fish? Nope -- talked em into giving up. Heres your sign. I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark-bite suit. And theres only one way to test it. All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on; it looks good. They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you. Well, all right, but here--hold my sign. I dont wanna lose it. Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walked out, looked at my truck, looked at me, and -- I SWEAR -- said, Tire go flat? I couldnt resist. I said, Nope; I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Heres your sign. We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We got back to the house, he got out of the car, reached down and grabbed the exhaust pipe, and then said, Darn, thats hot! See? If hed been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him. I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldnt you know I misjudged the height of a bridge, the truck got stuck, and I couldnt get it out, no matter what I tried. I radioed for help and eventually a local cop showed up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... ok ... no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign ... until he asked, So ... is your truck stuck? I couldnt help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig, and then back to him, and said, No, Im delivering a bridge. Heres your sign. I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, Are you still here? I replied, No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Heres your sign.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 15:46:09 +0000
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