T minus 150 minutes and counting. Coffee, coffee you are my friend!!! I have found myself very teary this past week and realize that I, like so many of my Angel parent friends, am in the month before time. It seems as though no matter what I do, this month comes every year. And I realize that I have little control over it---about as much control as over the event itself. My heart hurts....I ache for my little girl to be in my arms again. But over the years, I have also learned that I can let this consume me or I can somehow make it a more positive time. So, I let it come. I do not invite it or like it as many might think---but I can learn from it!!! And so, each time my heart hurts---My eyes fill with tears and I feel as if I cannot breathe---I choose gratitude. Grateful for precious Andrea Joy and her life. For every important lesson I learned. And I match each of those with a gratitude of now---for Mike, for Adam. For Paul, Elizabeth and Benjamin and for the joys that they bring to my life. And I add precious young women in my life-Carly, Megan, Hannah, Sarahs, Liz, Nicki and more...and for the gift of them. As I pray, I find that soon Im in a greater attitude of gratitude!! And it helps me. But I cant escape it. It comes and it goes in its own timing. And I learn each time--something new. And at the end of it, God has healed another small piece of my heart. I hate the feeling of having no control over it. But this too is a lesson. When I opened my Bible this morning, my DEVOTION was waiting for me in PSALM 126:5---Those who plant in tears, will harvest with shouts of JOY!! Lord, plant yourself deeply in my heart. Tend to me and grow me in every circumstance, into the woman YOU want for me to be!!! AMEN!! Take no one for granted. Let no opportunity to give love go by!! Even now, I can feel that my heart is happy happy happy. Thank you Jesus!!!
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 10:08:33 +0000
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