THAT NEW SONG BY DAFT PUNK - A TIMELINE April 19th – Get Lucky is released in the United Kingdom to immediate acclaim. April 21st –Get Lucky dominates British radio. Talk radio phone-ins are bombarded by confused and threatening listeners demanding to know why the presenters and guests are now clogging the airwaves with useless conversation instead of playing Daft Punk. Football pundit Mark Lawrenson is tarred and feathered by a baying mob after claiming on 5 live that Get Lucky wasn’t his cup of tea. April 29th – After dominating polls and countdowns for the best part of a quarter of a century, ‘that time Del Boy fell through the bar’ is finally displaced by Get Lucky as the British public’s most iconic cultural symbol. David Jason goes into hiding. May 2nd – The UKIP cause an upset in a Norfolk by-election, defeating the Conservative Party after changing their campaign slogan from “Enough is Enough” to “We’ve Come Too Far To Give Up Who We Are”. May 8th – Riots engulf London, and are only quelled after six days following intervention from the army. The trouble is thought to have begun in a nightclub, following a DJ’s decision not to play Get Lucky twice in one night for fear of being branded lazy. Government legislation is immediately introduced to enforce a ‘four times or more per hour’ policy upon all shops, bars, nightclubs and places of worship. May 14th – Martial Law is declared in Glasgow, as crowds descend on George Square for a communal sing-along and refuse to disperse. By midnight an estimated crowd of 150,000 are firmly encamped in the city centre, and as far away as Dundee residents reports hearing strains of “Du du du du du du du du, du du du du du du du du, du du du du du du du du du, du du du du du du Get Lucky!” long into the night. May 16th – In an attempt to pacify the increasing unrest, Buckingham Palace announce that Daft Punk and Pharrell Williams are to be knighted. The move backfires however as demands intensify for the monarch to abdicate altogether. Fearing for their safety, the Royal Family flee to France, abandoning Prince Andrew to the mob as a means of distraction. Andrew is subsequently forced to dress up like Britney Spears and parade the streets of London with the word “TART” written on his stomach in lipstick, a bit like that prison drama Oz from a few years back. May 17th – Daft Punk release their new album Random Access Memories. Order is restored across the United Kingdom following the public’s general acceptance that the album is ‘alright, but a bit disappointing’. The police declare an amnesty on Mark Lawrenson effigies, and David Jason returns to work. Prince Andrew remains unaccounted for.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 14:17:41 +0000
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