THIS IS LONG!!! I know I have been posting alot but on the way home, I was reflecting about October and Autumn. It was mentioned to me recently about how October is both breast cancer month and pregnancy & infant loss remembrance day and if it was a tough month. I thought about that on my drive home (along with alot of other things). Many of you know that I was dx with breast cancer at the age of 29yo. I did mention it to my doctor but since I was so young, pg and still breastfeeding, NO HISTORY, nothing happened. Approx 6+ mos later while in ICU a RN wrote in my file, large lump in right breast (or something like that, I did not see it)my new DR. decided to pursue it since I had so many other strange things happening to me. I ended up with a large tumor 5x4x3 cm (size of my fist), mastectomy, chemo, radiation, etc.............. The cancer affected me physically but I do not think as much mentally - there were scares and yes that would bother me. Now Dereks death, that affected me mentally. So some of you know, I was dx after Derek died but had my mastectomy exactly a month after he died. I also had 2 close occurrences with death the 1st 2 weeks after Derek died (but GOD wasnt finished w me yet). I still remember calling Jean Berger and asking her to homeschool Jake and Zack because I physically felt like I was dying (so weak, I had to have the RN pick up the phone, dial and put phone to ear - and those that know me well, know I can pretty much pick up a phone :P) and the Drs. just told Danny (I did not know this till later) that there is nothing else they can do, the next 24 hours would pretty much determine if I would make it or not. Of course I did not know this and I told Danny that I wanted to be buried w Derek and I wondered if that is why I had such a peace, it was time to go to Heaven. Jean called Marla and they started a prayer chain and Marla McClanahan called me, lovingly scolding me, 10 mins later, I was sitting in the bed, eating toast. PRAYER WORKS!!! There were several people that were a huge blessing at that time in our lives (so many were faithfully praying that I can not even start to list those people). I remember Jean Berger & Esther Trout being my Aaron and Hur - ALWAYS there for everything!!! Patsy Johnson Flaniken (@ church) & Trina Stringer (during the week) continually loving in my boys so they were not going to different peoples houses all the time. I remember Susie Bowden driving me to my 1st mammogram and that Danny was told I had cancer before Susie and I arrived home and he is the one that told me that I had cancer. I remember my Pastor, Bob Pearle praying for us and coming by that morning. I remember our former Pastor Bro. Bill Simmons officiating Dereks funeral and how special it was. Calvary Baptist of Kingsville, River Hills Baptist Church and Bayshore Bible Church came alongside First Baptist, Portland to help in various ways. Cindy Marshall Looper let us use a condo in Port A so Danny and I could process everything that we just found out. Pat Bickham and Glenn Ann Bickham letting us stay at their house when leaving the hospital. Sandy Bickham Williams just coming to hospital to talk and pray with me. I think about the women (Patrice Worsham and Judy Cates that were my go to women when I had questions about bc, they gave of themselves and their first-hand knowledge and the daughters of BC patients - Kelly Lewis and Suzanne Lummus who loved me). Leslie Colston for his help in numerous ways during that time. Sue McCauley and Darcus Tyson for helping during pg/delivery. My CBS (Community Bible Study) group that supported me. My great neighbors, David Lewis and Rick & Kelly Sears - still friends to this day. I had some great Drs. and not so great Drs. but the ones that stand out the most were Dr. Greg Guthrie - I still remember his prayer in the ER and just his presence, Dr. David Sutter, who took care of me at home and the office, Dr. Timmerman, Wilder & Kirkham - esp. Dr. Timmerman who prayed for me and listened to everything. Dr. Emile Salloum, my oncologist, who listened to me complain about still having to go for check ups (and will till I die), Dr. Medlin (and wife) who prayed for me and his radiology staff who made treatment enjoyable. There were so many but those are ones that came to mind early hours this morning. Since then, I think - how has this changed me??? I have been very pro-active in Drs., I am a person, not cattle, I find someone who will treat me and not give me meds for just a quick fix or be a lets just wait, I say, lets find out now. I have been able to be more dependent on GOD, not knowing what and why things are happening but knowing HE is in control, so I just try to be obedient (not always but mostly). I have been able to share with others and through that I met Amy Warner who is now a daughter to me and we can talk about our joys in Heaven and through her, I met Ximena Roseland, who is also a daughter. I love them both dearly!!! I have been blessed with grandchildren and I ABSOLUTELY love being a meme. I am blessed to be loved by a man, who takes his role as a husband, lover, protector, best friend and GODs appointed head of the house seriously and he will protect his family at all cost and he is 100% committed to me to love me through sickness, debt, scars, bald heads and hold me on my days I am weak and just need him near. He allows me to flourish, play and love - He was my example of Jesuss unconditional love, he has taught my so much of GOD teaching and when I dont understand something, he teaches me. When I think of fall/autumn - my brain goes into overload (Danny says it is always in overload) through a huge series of memories, some pleasant and some not but GOD is faithful and HE has blessed me tremendously. I do love the Autumn time................
Posted on: Wed, 23 Oct 2013 16:00:24 +0000
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