Tales by the status graduate. It was a big day in our family, fowls were slaughtered and even Nkechi the beautiful daughter of our next door neighbour was present and was busy shinning her green light and shaking her bumbum for me, as I carried my bottle of beer which my father allowed me to drink because Im now a graduate. uncle ikeokwu and uncle mmadu were busy exchanging banters on a political discuss with such vigor and interest I have never noticed before, I caught Nkechis eye beckoning on me and I followed her outside just behind the house, Hehe, the dividends of being a graduate. I was already envisaging how she would look without clothes. so Emeka, youre now a graduate, Im happy for you oh thanks, I said Im more happy that you are now all hips and boobs and not the little girl of yesterday, I thought so why do you call me out here, I asked sincerely nothing oh, since youre a graduate and you know everything I just wanted you to help me out with my maths assignment. Me know everything?, see this girl oh, how she wan make I solve maths wey I dey get E since hundred level?? but in order not to fall my hands I asked her to bring the maths assignment praying it to be all these elementary mathematics. She brought the assignment and was looking closely at me to solve it and I was busy asking myself if this is really mathematics or an alien language that is used to send coded messages, cold sweats have started appearing on my forehead when I heard my dad calling me. Thank God oh! Nkechi let me answer my dad first, I will be right back. Brb my foot, even if a gun is pointed at me and solving that maths will make me live then Im as good as dead. I went to the sitting room all happy, and saw my dad arguing with my two uncles. dad, you called me yes, son, these your uncles cant see the comparison that exist between the American 1904 constitution and Nigerian 1989 constitution in relation to social psychology, make them understand that Nigeria has grown past neo-colonialization. I had to look back to make sure, I was actually the one he was referring to and not some hi-tech robot from mars. (Im not a walking encyclopedia for gods sake.) Uncle ikeokwu was already shouting on top his voice I bet my two ass, Emeka would agree with me that the impact of the American influence still exist in our universities. He said yes, I agree with uncle ikeokwu, America can be pain in the ass when it comes to mind control. I said with no conviction. see, talking like the graduate he is uncle ikeokwu exclaimed, amidst bouts of hiccups. Uncle mmadu, was silent. Emeka, if you so believe that America is a control freak then you will have to agree with me that they merit to be the next world power? yes, I answered, still confused on why I should answer yes. This people wont kill me o, I studied igbo Education and not universal knowledge, My dad was already speaking before I could sneak out. Emeka your uncles dont seem to understand the intricacies of the American constitution, read out the section on social psychology to educate them. I dont even know any section on Nigerian constitution or even my girlfriends constitution talk more of American constitution. dad, where should I read it from? are you not a graduate, read it from your head. Hehehe, I cant remember any exam I wrote with my head. dad, do I look like an encyclopedia? . I asked. ........ Typing with a black eye.
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 08:21:30 +0000
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