Teaching our children to avoid speaking lashon hara takes a concerted effort. Experiment with the following tools: Teach by example. Showing children that its a priority for you is perhaps the most important lesson. Dont let them hear your gossiping with your friends or relatives. Dont let them hear you laughing at other peoples expense. Even better than dont let them hear you is not doing it -- whether theyre in earshot or not. Discuss the importance of avoiding lashon hara. Help your children identify what is and isnt proper speech. Talk about how improper speech can hurt others and how it hurts the person speaking lashon hara. There are a number of excellent Jewish books that can help you. Discourage tattling. When your kids come to tell on someone, tell them you arent interested in reports of someone elses bad behavior, but that youre available if they need help or advice. Get in the habit of not using names. Theres no need for you to know the names of problem students at school unless youll have a direct role in addressing the issue. Focus the discussion on your childs feelings, worries and concerns. If he or she needs protection that requires your intervention, tell him or her that it is proper to tell you the name of the offending child. Dont fall into the trap of casual lashon hara. At dinner and at other family times, bring books to the table to discuss or talk about current events. When you discuss what happened in each persons day, focus on what they learned that day and how they felt. Show your children that there are more interesting things to talk about than other peoples poor behavior. Give positive reinforcement. Be sure to commend your kids when they manage to tell you about school or neighborhood problems without mentioning who was involved. Let them know that youre proud of them - and that God is too. Reminders! Tape a reminder to the telephone: No Lashon Hara! Put up signs on the fridge and in other prominent locations around the house. Study it. Read a small section of the laws of lashon hara each day during dinner or at your Shabbat table. Encourage discussion and examples.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 02:00:00 +0000
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