That is disturbingly, ironically, just absolutely amazingly amusing to me...I coulda used one a few months ago...as I laugh so too do I realize that my life was almost ended as I lay trying to sleep. It is very fortunate for me that I do not sleep very well...wow...my restless nature that drives me crazy has allowed my life to be able to continue beyond the point where anything other than being an insomniac would have meant my death...I am...i am alive...someone desired to end my life...yet here I am...it can all end in the blink of an eye...what the hell matters when nothing matters...gone today, gone tomorrow, gone is gone, and once it comes it doesnt matter when it came...death is coming for everything...chaos will always triumph over order...I am...here...but does it even matter...nope. I am the only force that can even give my presence a sense of purpose in anything. I matter, things matter, only because i say it does...and I will give life purpose even in the face of the darkness that eventually envelopes everything...I do it because I can, and I try to be positive in all things while being aware that nothing will matter, or even does matter for that matter...I gotta go, i need to work...or anything other than think...Welding table is almost done, may as well work on bringing that towards completion...no money yet to get truck outta impound, so ill do anything that seems productive...gonna get motivated...dont know how I keep finding the energy to carry on...soooo, if I must be here I will work on being more efficient in all things...if ever there were a worthy goal to desire in the face of absolute futility then this is the one. If I must do useless things then i may as well design methods to so them quickly and easily...I guess...
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 05:17:34 +0000
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