The Preparation It was July 6th of 2007 when he finally left us. The doctor declared him dead at 5: 15 in the morning. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer. For four years, he kept that in the dark, not telling his family about his condition. He already knew where the disease would lead him. He had five children; four of them had finished their Bachelor’s Degree except for one, who was studying for a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing at that time. He wanted to see the youngest finish college before he said goodbye, but he didn’t make it. He thought the surgery would keep him longer, so he took the risk. He pursued the operation to try to get rid of the cancer that he had, but it was too late. He was diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer right after the surgery. Family, relatives and close friends gathered every day, since the day he was admitted into hospital. Money was a big problem at that time although we found a way to overcome the financial barriers. He was loved by his parents, and by his brothers and sisters. He was the eldest of seven siblings. He was raised in a very traditional Filipino family culture in San Juan, Batangas Philippines. His parents were very proud of him, for all his achievements; awarded valedictorian during middle school and in senior high, finished a Bachelor’s Degree in Veterinary Medicine, and was the bread winner of their family. He was one of the first few veterinarians who graduated in the Philippines. He was the 67th licensed veterinarian; he was one of the founders of the fraternity for Society of Men for the students of veterinary at the University of the Philippines. I was half asleep when my phone vibrated underneath my pillow. I already knew what the call would be. He had pronounced dead a minute earlier when my sister told me about the bad news. I hurried to the hospital thinking that I could say goodbye, hoping that he could see me and that I could still talk to him, but it was too late. When I got there, he is already in rigor mortis. I was in charge of sending text messages to update his friends, fraternity and colleague about what’s going on inside the hospital. All of his friends all over the world heard the news about his condition. On July 6th of 2007, they received my last text message saying, “My dad passed away, Dr. Lazaro M. Rosales Jr.”. I went home after couple of hours and started to prepare for the funeral. Then suddenly, I received a text message from my brother that my father’s body was missing. The events inside the hospital happened quickly that day. There were certain policies in the hospital that we didn’t know. For instance, dead person needed to be picked up right away, because the hospital doesn’t have a freezer to store them. When the embalmers that we contacted came to get my dad’s body in the hospital morgue, he was not there. Everybody was shocked. My uncles and aunts were all confused, Where did he go? Did he come alive and walk out of the morgue?. So, my younger brother Gem got mad, he said “Who kidnapped my dad’s body? “ Who is responsible for the missing body “. His voice echoed through the entire first floor announcing that everyone was responsible and needed to do something about it fast. The hospital personnel said that there were certain rules to be followed. If nobody claimed the body for couple of hours it would be transported to a close by mortuary service. He asked the personnel why his father was being transported to another place without telling the family. No one could answer any of the questions he asked. So, he said that “I will take legal action on this matter if my father’s body will not show up now!”. My mother was crying so hard and didn’t know what to do. Gem’s face turned red, showing that he was ready to get mad again. Everybody was confused that day about the loss of a very dear friend, brother and a father. Eventually my father’s body was retrieved after a long wait and chaotic scene. My elder brother Lloyd met one of our 2nd cousins at the mortuary in our town Cainta. My cousin waited at the mortuary, until my brother saw him crying, talking, while holding my Dad’s hand. He came from Mindoro one of the Islands in the Philippines. After he received a text in the morning and heard the news, he rushed to buy a ticket and went to Manila. It is a three-hour ferry boat ride plus a two-hour drive, just to get to our home town. He wanted to stay but needed to go back home at the same day. Lloyd introduced him to us, but we didn’t recall his face or have any clue to his name, although we had met long time ago when we’re toddlers. He left us many wonderful stories about our father when he was still alive. The guidance he had provide while he was visiting Manila 25 years ago, telling our father to look for a job in the city. It was a good start knowing that, there was someone who cared about our father and considered him a very important person. We arrived early at the church around two in the afternoon expecting the coffin would show up any time. While we waited, we cleaned the place, arranged the chairs, made coffee and snacks. Then it was 7:05 at night, my father’s coffin was still not there, but people were starting to show up. While we waited, they started telling us stories about our father, reminiscencing with us. My Dad was a sociable person and he treasured every one of his friends. Around eleven at night, my father’s body finally came, but everybody had already left except my sisters and I. He was in a white silver coffin with hand crafted wood carving on all corners of the casket. As I stood by the coffin staring at him thinking he was just sleeping, I thought I would cry very hard because I had lost a father, but I didn’t. So, I started thinking of wonderful memories of him then I started to cry. I guess staring at him in the coffin was not that painful. Remembering all his hard work, doing his best to be a father and be there when you needed him most, was the most painful feeling. Then I finally realized that night is all about saying goodbyes to our dear father and preparing for hello’s to different people who would come to see him for the last time, telling us so much about him, including the side of him we never knew while he was still with us.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 00:05:37 +0000
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