The Scraggies Awards 2014 Fellow Athletes, The year 2014 is fast closing but 4 things stand out in the proud history of the Graceville and Kenmore Touch Football Institute and academy – Special mention of Blue (Fox) Fegan The first is, the injection of new blood into and ageing squad (and I need only look around to support this statement). This year saw the regular appearance of The Munro boys (Charles and Alex), Blackie, Jeremy, and Paul Brown and Julian Aboud (occasionally) The arrival and success of the Wednesday game at Graceville. There were detractors and naysayers, one in particular, who, for legal reasons can’t be named; which is probably. This is a good thing as I wouldn’t want people making abusive calls to him at the Brisbane City Council. This game averages 5 a side and will grow next year. It is now the second most important game in the club’s portfolio. Particular thanks should go to Scotty, who helped create and advertise the game and then had the courage to stay away, to maintain the playing standard. The official naming of the George and Margaret field. Unfortunately G&M couldn’t be with us but George did send this congratulatory email “I CAN NO LONGER CONTINUE TO BE POLITE. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU DUMB-ASS **** MORONS NEED TO BE TOLD TO STOP USING THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS? Fortunately, due to my knowledge of colloquial American I have translated to its real meaning “ We are deeply touched by your kind and generous actions. We hope to visit soon and in the meantime please keep those emails coming, especially the ones from that cute “Jethro” you are in our thoughts and prayers. Love G and M The Second anniversary of the launching of Scraggies- The Movie, which I understand is still bogged down in contract negotiations. Thank God JJ (the elder) took it upon himself to expedite the matter or we would really be behind schedule. So all in all, it was a good year although it did see the apparent “retirement” of two stalwarts of the Game, Andrew Garrett and the Very Reverend Darryl Smith. Both brought special gifts to the game; Andrew was doggedly efficient- making breaks, backing up, defending well all in a quiet unassuming way but highly effective. Reverend Smith was a class player in all aspects of the game, who also did a lot of witnessing at the local pubs and clubs, often involving the laying on of hands. Awards 2014 We have 7 awards, 5 usual and 2 new awards;: the “Punctuality/Time Keeper of the Year, awarded to the payer who most fragrantly ignores the recommended start time of the games. And ; “Has the Game Gone Backward” award- dedicate to the one (or more) players whose performances have detracted from the high standards of the game in thought, word or deed. Ornament to the Game The Ornament to the Game award- highly prestigious and celebrating all that is good about these games, the spirit of fair play, the good grace shown, the complementary and respectful way in which players address one another, the complete absence of gamesmanship or trickery. The Nominees are Liam Walsh Rory Callinan- Winner JJ ( the younger) JJ ( the elder) ruled out for raising an elbow In some ways this is a strange choice but Rory regularly fronts up to the Games, when any rational assessment of his contribution and his ability as a touch footballer suggests that he might be better placed joining the soccer boys at the top oval. Given the way he plays the game he clearly is not obsessed about winning and his concern for the opposition is shown by the number of times he times he turns over the ball to them. This commitment to equality and fairness is such that I doubt that a new comer to the game would be able to tell which side Rory was actually on. In his own unique way is genuinely an “ornament to the game” Rookie of the year Alex Munro Charlie Munro Declan Reis - winner The three nominees are all outstanding. Alex for his pace, step and dummy and anticipation, Charles for his positional play , unusual passing style and surprising pace , Declan for his backing up and fearlessly taking on the line, but let’s remember that for some exceptions they are playing against clapped out old crocks and so they should look good. The winner, is a particularly meritorious case. This young man has had to overcome huge obstacles in his career including living near Tommy the Irishman and having his father as a coach The Winner is Declan Reis Player of the year Liam Walsh - winner Charles (Blackie) Black Craig Cook Terry Pinnell Luke Myers Peter Jevons This was an exceptionally hard choice, particularly after Brian Clinton ruled himself out of contention. I have never seen Liam Walsh have a bad game except for the time he played outside Mick Byrne (and hence was starved of the ball) Blackie has been outstanding this year to the point that super-coach Brian Pullar recruited him to play in his touch comp Craig is Craig- and dazzles every-time he plays (especially against us old coggers) Terry is one of the older coggers but scores 2-3 tries every week ( sometimes this side of the train line) Luke Myers has had a stellar year, particularly in attack- although he is a member of the Myer mafia and that knee guard each week is a bit suspect! Peter is an exceptional player with the best passing game in the our playing group The Winner is Liam Walsh Punctuality/time keeper of the year Patrick Jewell - winner Charlie Munro Stevie Tsang Michael Byrne This is a new award. Something had to be done to highlight the lack of discipline shown by some members in arriving late. All 4 nominees are serial offenders. Patrick (is he here yet?) fine fellow that he is and former ornament to the game winner displays the usual ABC distain for the accepted rules of social behavior and is completely out of touch with main stream Australia. Charles, particularly on Wednesday is regularly late- perhaps he craves the attention and joy of his arrival, just in time to make up 5 or 6 aside (Charlie, we even like seeing Scotty turn up if we are short) - This is now creeping into his Friday appearances. His time keeping is a disgrace to the fine traditions of UQBS and will be reported (anonymously) to the Dean Stevie, a former player of the year- needs to lift his game- each week he gets here later in the hope that the rest of us are tired and he can make some cheap yards. It got so bad last week that even Patrick was complaining about his lateness. Michael Byrne is regularly late but not seriously so. Further inquiries have revealed there may be health reasons for this tardiness. He has been ordered to attend an early morning anger management clinic on Friday mornings, (after he bashed two ratepayers who were three days over-due in payment). It is still early on in the treatment!) The Winner is Patrick Jewell- who sets a world standard in late arrivals. HIS GAME HAS GONE BACKWARDS THIS YEAR- [to be introduced and presented by its proposer Brian Clinton] Greg (Grassy) Ovenden Simon Porter Bobbie Myers Lee Rush John (Call me Jack) Rush The judges were split and so there are two winners- we want audience participation- the first to guess the joint winners wins this cheap bottle of wine (+ antidote) purchased from the “Greg Bird” bar at the Titans Leagues Club (some say Greg had a hand in filling the bottle) Clues; Both are private School boys who share an interest in the arts and were members of the boy scouts. After initially seeking to join the Priesthood or the ABC, both spent time as Qantas Stewards and male models before moving on to other more lucrative careers Both are passionate campaigners for marriage equality Both have been accused of being overzealous (wrongly in my opinion) when congratulating other players on scoring a try. The winners are Grassy Ovenden and Simon “cuddles” Porter Actually there are another 27 nominees, but I won’t list them all – I’ll just declare that Grassy and Simon have gone backwards faster than anyone this year POTY 2014 Craig Cook ( for making us all look stupid) Shaun Dorney ( for his slurs against the awards Chairman) He had a nice line on Wednesday “Mangan went thru there faster than an academic thru a dole queue” Don’t forget he’s the only man to have been extradited from both Fiji and the ABC Michael Reis Stevie Tsang – the silent assassin Brian Pullar I never give this award lightly. The implications for a man whose name is blackened in this way are severe; divorce, bankruptcy, in Byrne’s case, impotence. All of these nominees have committed grave offences Craig Cook has held most of us to public ridicule by the way he steps past us and should be punished for his talent. Shaun Dorney has uttered grave slurs against the awards Chairman (Brian told me) and has the unique record of being banished by the extreme right wing ( Fiji) and the extreme left wing ( The ABC Peoples commune and collective) Michael Reis, is a fine fellow and in my view an ornament to the game. I don’t really know why he is listed here- (I came to realise this error after I found a horse’s head in my bed following the release of the nominees) Stevie Tsang, is well known for off the ball incidents and is a serial late arrive Ross Bateson. It is unusual for a player who has been with us for only a year to feature in the POTY awards. Normally, the level of evil needed to qualify takes longer than that. But Ross Bateson is an exception. Not only is he a serial annoyance on the field but his literary emails are an attack on the English language and have very much upset George and Margaret. - And the Winner Ross (Shakespeare) Bateson
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 03:46:30 +0000
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