The fire. For quite some time, almost as long as I can remember, I’ve had this fire inside of me. A burning ambition. A yearning. Unquenchable. Unyielding. It has churned within me since adolescence, as a child, it kept me up at night. At times, it has been my best friend, my mistress, my bedfellow. My teacher, my tormenter, my savior. It has disappointed me, hurt me, scared me and scarred me. It has carried me on its back at the lowest points of my life. At times the smoke of its flames was so thick, I could barely see through it. Often it burned so hot I feared it would incinerate me from within, scorching everyone who stood too close. I wouldn’t speak about it in detail too often, for I knew most wouldn’t understand or couldn’t relate. Or even worse I thought they’d begrudge me this compulsion I couldn’t control. More than just an aspect of my personality, it is who I am. Surviving fits and starts, rejection and derision, lulls and relentless charges. The flame endures. Twenty-some years since I became aware of its presence in the pit of my being, white hot it rages on. I feed it what it needs, tending to the coals of inspiration daily, shoveling on any spare fuel I can find. For, even with all of the growing pain this fire has brought me, I know it to be the greatest gift I could ever be granted. This passion pushing me forward, propelling me on toward a destiny unknown. Demanding I do the work necessary, it gives me life. Every so often, I look into the eyes of a fellow passenger on this spinning globe, only to see darkness. An empty well where a flame once flickered, extinguished long ago by a drenching deluge pouring from the cloudy sky of a bleak existence. It is at this time, I bow my head and give humble thanks. Grateful to rise another day and make the great efforts, basking in the rays of its internal warmth, expending all I have in service to the fire.
Posted on: Sat, 21 Sep 2013 03:38:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015