The hardest thing I have written. At the time I wrote this I was in severe pain and the doctor was pretty sure a brain tumor that have had for years had finally grown. I had also written each member of my family goodbye letters. My drive to write was almost gone, yet it became my friend in my lonely world of disbelief. Prayers, and actually a major car wreck put an end to that pain. A miracle? Well...thats another poem . But this was my world of fear. PYRAMID OF DISBELIEF I stand on a pyramid of disbelief Granite blocks each labeled, are its main construction Hurt, pain, fear, tears, cheers, where’s. Whys? Where to hide, where to run, where to escape? Then the tears start flooding out, merging with the sweat from fear The cold from the chill of my bones, a blizzard! Dripping, cascading down these blocks A diagnosis, a sentence, an inevitably, a final goodbye Cant I just rewind today and start anew? A trip home, crunching gravel, numb Eyes closed.... We turn down a road with no name, to a street with no number Will I be that house? Empty and deserted? Weeds sprouting Abandoned…forgotten A memory, a past, distant fleeting...? A name not quite remembered or forgotten I feel so far removed, I am, but I’m not, I go back to my pyramid In the distance I see two more pyramids One labeled acceptance, one I think goodbye The trail blows of desert sand, obscuring the paths that connect This is something that will come in time, but not today I must hold me, comfort me, and mother myself, to block my grief I am alone here, on this bleak top looking down below A stranger to this dread, I must make peace, connect Find reason for this to be… not to take it personal I’m scorching now from the inside Blinding the everyday thoughts of life of past memories Shattering them into millions of pieces with me removed I must prepare, somehow, some way…to leave My mind disconnects as I raise my hands To the winds blowing and I release myself Into this mist where I’m a babe in the womb Waiting for the time clock of my birth Patient, determined, sucking my thumb I will once again be reborn… Continuing on my journey, that we all must take Where mankind and eternity meet and join My fear is gone… But there is much for me to work on Before I leave copyright September 2013 by Mary L. Palermo
Posted on: Mon, 28 Apr 2014 15:48:00 +0000
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