The other night I had the most interesting conversation Ive had in a while ... with my son. It was one of those conversations where we kept saying I have to tell you this and No, no let me go first and it went on for over 30 minutes. Plenty of Briar one liners in there and by the end of it my sides hurt from laughing. After that, we put our heads under the covers in our fort and I told him a bed time story I just made up about a monster truck and the brave little cars that volunteered to let the monster truck jump over them, to set an example of courage for all the other little crunch cars. And I dont know, just the little details and everything about that night and his different laughs made me so fulfilled. And today he turns *5* and those nights seem fleeting- its crazy how the time gets away from you and the days and weeks, months go by and turn into years and you lose track. I look back and realize I somehow let this or that get in the way of those precious moments that are literally flying right past me. When Briar was a baby I had it set in my mind that by 5 I would have it all figured out— we would have traditions and routines and I wouldnt have to second guess myself. And here I am, and I definitely dont have it all together or figured out and probably never will - theres no set plan for this, something different and wonderful or terrible happens almost everyday I could never be prepared for. And the way things worked out for me and Briar its like we are growing up together in a way. So I hope Ive done most of it right..but I know there are things I couldve done better or more of. I wish I read more books, took more videos, took him to feed the horses ..stomached more trips to Chuck E. Cheese haha. Because to me, this is the most important day of the year. It is a reminder that 5 years ago Briar saved me from myself , nothing else would. Although it hasnt been easy —actually, its been the hardest thing Ive ever done but I am so beyond grateful for that and wouldnt change it. After thinking about that and knowing just how true that really is, it just made me really want to thank everyone whos been a part of this journey with me ..and apart of Briars life. Whether we are close anymore or not .. Thank you so much. I especially wanted to thank you Josh White. In spite of everything we have been through I appreciate you always being there for me, no matter what-haha I mean if I wanted you to be or not, youve always been there, Thank You. Thank you for being such an amazing dad to our son, I know it has been a long road for both of us, but from where we are today its all been worth it; because I know we were given the most beautiful blessing in both of our lives, and I couldnt have done it without you. flipagram/f/LstS8lxpwf
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 18:43:09 +0000
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