The temporary relevancy of flash-in-the-pan popular music is a strange phenomenon. In only a few short weeks, well have all but forgotten what it was that Little John wanted us to turn down for, or just what made Iggy Chrysanthemum so flippin fancy. There are unfortunate exceptions, though, where a song will launch onto the airwaves and hang their like the polluted haze over Beijing. In time, familiarity and use will convince us all to utter things like, Hey, thats my jam, bro! and Turn it up! I LOVE THIS SOOOONG!. In reality, it is little more that lyrical Stockholm Syndrome. That is why it wont be until the year 2552 AD, when Earths benevolent young Emperor Hashtag420blze is in the infancy of his reign, that we as a species will finally deem it necessary to take action. In the coming centuries, mankind will have suffered great annoyance due to the enduring earworm that is Journeys hit song Dont Stop Believing. We will have been nagged into submission, accepting the song into our daily lives like a canker that never heals. Emperor Hashtag420blze will commission a rocketship be built and the cargo bay stuffed with every single existing hard copy, digital recording, and singing birthday card that contains the abominable tune, along with any surviving band members. Then, with great fanfare and amidst the weeping of thankful widows, the ship will launch with a flame and a roar. The unwholesome burden will leave our much-improved planet on a trajectory that will carry it directly into the heart of the Sun, where it will be devoured with a burp and a sigh. May its ceremonial incineration bring eternal peace to all earthlings, amen.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 18:30:34 +0000
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