The weird thing is, I almost bought a car before I left CA. I spent 2 days looking at them and negotiating. The 2001 Outback I blew up yesterday may have been the last physical item tying me to Max. I had paid for the car and he had put a couple thousand in it fixing it up. It was my car, but I felt like if I got rid of it he would have first dibs since he loved the car more than me. So when I was about to get the new car, I asked him if he wanted to buy me out or if I should trade it in, and he wanted the car and he was willing to give me what I put in it, and that was great. Then, when it came down to it, the dealership just wouldnt give me a sweet enough deal to say, YES!. And also, the thought of years years of big payments did not feel to good, so I walked. I decided my lesson was to just live in my means and not keep pushing myself to the edge. I got in my car and headed east. Yesterday, as this all went down, Max was a tremendous help, getting a call to AAA when I could only text, and helping me figure out what to do. Then helping me walk through all the rest of making the decisions about what to do with the car, since it was in his name. I think we handled it quite well, handling diversity always brings out either the best or worst in people and yesterday it was most certainly the best of both of us. (Confession: A part of me loved being in relationship with him again, dealing with this. I still love the guy so darn much, and I adore the moments spent on the phone with him. I love the way we handle things together, how his mind works, how I felt safe and cared for while we figured it out). Perhaps that is why the universe said the car has to go. I was able to get myself going again without his rescue, which was a very good thing in the scheme of things. In the middle of all the chaos yesterday, the finance guy from the dealership called and said he got the interest rate dropped a little more, which put the payment at $484 (which was the most payment I would even consider, even though I would much rather have under $400, it just wasnt going to happen for this car). The car I really liked was a 2014 Outback, with just 3K miles, certified pre-owned and great warranty. I have a really hard time with what message the universe is giving me. Is it, Buy the damn car already!!!! You love it and youll work out the money issues. OR is it, Well, you made a commitment to live within your means, so here is a test, well break your car, and make the unaffordable car look more available to you, now lets see how committed you are to living in your means! I am sort of leaning toward the latter, but a friend expressed a pretty good argument for the former. Would love your thoughts and opinions, after all YOU ARE MY UNIVERSE.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 14:07:06 +0000