There are countless things the Americans find fascinating about India which includes cows on roads, snake charmers, the magnificent Thyaaz (Taj) Mahal. But nothing fascinates them more than our Arranged Marriages which they find quite amusing. They dont use the term Love marriage like we do. I too find the term love mariage an oxymoron. In my opinion it should be rather called self arranged/ self negotiated/ post courtship marriage or whatever, but the term love marriage frankly speaking is a misnomer. Upon queried I have tried my best to explain to them the contrast between arranged and the so called love marriages. I tell them how my own marriage was arranged. Long story short how my wife and I met for the first and only time before marriage for 15 long minutes and our marriage is now past 15years, still going strong. Our dating was limited to telephonic courtship at an exorbitant rate of nearly $1 per minute, the contemporary call rate to India. AT&T and MCI should have considered giving me some bonus as those 5 months I contributed handsomely to their coffers. My American friends were not getting thrilled at my telephonic dating story, but they kept their feeling to themselves. One of them opined How can you marry someone you hardly know ? Dont ya take a car for test drive before buying it ? You dont wanna buy a car just looking at it and talking to the dealer over phone . When I queried another friend why he is not yet married his response was You dont have to keep a cow at home to get milk. Logic well made and Point well taken. However one cannot compare a CAR with YAAR (companion). Though most marriages in India are arranged and in spite of the recent spike the divorce, the rate in still low compared to US. This gives credence to the fact that most arrange marriages succeed. America was built from scratch, has survived many challengeing times and become an immensely successfull nation. Similarly arranged marriages are built from scratch, time tested and become successful on long run, a la LAMBE RACE KA GHODA ( Horse good for long run). Contrary to my prior belief I have seen many if not not all love marriages crumbling apart, falling like a pack of cards. Not sure my views cleared theirs about arranged marriages.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 17:05:43 +0000
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