There has come a time in my life now where I must come forward about certain things which I can no longer bear to weigh on my shoulders... I havent always been the best Dad to my kids nor have I done exactly enough for them like I should have, which I regretfully admit... I often wish I could go back and change the past but I cannot... I can only look toward the future and hope that my decisions then will be better than the ones I have made in the past. I know no one is perfect & Im no where near close to it. I guess when I tell people that im a great Dad to my kids, its just me wishing that I did more for them & was there more for them... Theres also times when I wish I wasnt here because of all the pain & hurt I have caused to my family & to so many others for the actions I have taken throughout my life... When it comes down to it, I wish there was so much I could forget about my past that haunts me everyday like a deadly virus!!! If things werent the way they are for me, Id like to think that I could do or would do more to be honest, but Im not really programmed correctly about what matters most & what doesnt, which are the demons that will haunt me forever until the day I die I assume... Life sure has its awful ways of reminding us just how pathetic & undeserving we can be at times... So I guess this is my way of saying sorry to all those who I have hurt over the years and I dont expect anyone to except it but only to know that I never really tried 100% like I should of with everything in my life and thats not an excuse but merely an answer to why Ive done what the things that Ive done, some good but mostly bad, or at least in my eyes & I know for a fact that quite a few others think exactly the same thing... I feel as if Ive become nothing more than a let down to so many people & that beats the shit out of me inside to no end & is also something I will carry with me for a longtime...
Posted on: Thu, 10 Apr 2014 01:03:03 +0000
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