There were a lot of times in my life Ive felt worthless. Times Ive seriously had to question whether I was worthy of anything at all. I believe if were honest with ourselves, weve all had these times. Weve hit our rock bottoms and theres no where else to go! There was one very dark time in my life when I even seriously contemplated suicide. The circumstances of my life were what I believed at the time grim and I didnt want to go thru what I was being faced with! That was a long time ago, I put my big girl panties on and dealt with the consequences of the decisions I made and I made commitments to God. Looking back that was the closest I believe Ive ever been to Him. I had no one else to understand or listen. Sure I had friends, and parents and family, but at night it was just He and I! Tonight my husband is making tracks headed to his job in Wisconsin and its our custom that every night he says bed time prayers with the kids. Weve changed the format from now I lay me to each one of us say a prayer. When it was his turn he thanked God for giving him me! Me of all of the billions of people in this world. Me?!?!? It took me back for a second. I knew he loved me, I knew he cared, but to hear him thank God for me brought tears to my eyes. Everyone that knows my husband knows what a wonderful man he is. Hes good looking, funny, and is someone that everyone loves to be around. I hear all of the time what a great person he is, and he really is, but because of the things Ive done I sometimes question me. Ive not always been a good person, or the nicest to have to deal with, but when his words came out of his mouth tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had done what I contemplated all those years ago, then I wouldve missed so much joy! I wouldve missed out on being a mom to three of the most beautiful babies ever imaginable. Im so thankful for a God that loves us and even though we stumble on our journey, he helps us back up and keeps us safe in the valleys. Someone is in a valley and I want you to know, this is just a season. Hold on!! God holds you in his arms while you cry and He does understand and in time you will come out of these dark times!! The darkest time is at midnight, but morning is coming. Just hang on, because whether you realize it or not someone is and will thank God for allowing you to be in their life as well! Sorry for this post being so long but felt I needed to say this.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 05:03:25 +0000
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