This is my absolute favorite time of year- fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas! But it has also become my hardest time of year. So many hardships surround the holilday season feeling for me. So many anxiety triggers such as smells, feelings, certain foods, and sights. This is my third season since Skye was created. The first season- stuck in bed, with Skye in my tummy, sick as a dog, hiding from the world. Last years season- stuck in bed with depression, feeling abandoned, and a 4 month old baby needing all of me. This season- its hard, but Im in a better place. More tears are shed around this time than other times of the year. I still love it though. Last year I had a crappy fake Christmas tree from the dollar store, decorated with purple Halloween lights because I refused to not have a tree for Skye. Im sooo excited to get a huge, real live tree this year with real Christmas decorations, and to make the best memories and our own traditions with my girl. I guess I can look at it as a reminder of how far Ive come. A reminder of the endless amounts of grace poured onto me by God. Life is hard and the struggle is real and endless but Im basking in grace and forgiveness because Im so excited to enjoy this season for the first time in a while.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:58:57 +0000
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