This time tomorrow Ill be on My way to Atlanta to celebrate the memory of a very wonderful young spirit. I never had much family. Now I have a little less. And Im pretty depressed over not being able to spend more time getting to know all the personalities of what little family I have as they grow into shining stars, loved by all. And as had as its been to get out of this city and go back to that place I once called home. This was NOT the way I wanted to return, even for a few days. But I need to be around My family. All of them. But a part of Me hates going back to Atlanta. Being dropped off blocks from where I lost all My past possessions and just about everything I owned. Back to that place that turned its back on Me even after I worked My last Union gig setting up the historic first speech to the country and the world from the then President of this country. Only to not work again until a friend gave Me a job on the road with the Soul Circus. I remember returning when I got hurt working at the Warner theater here in DC and I was left with no workmans comp for 5 months as I lost what little I had left and had to sleep on My moms floor while I healed and made it back to DC to try and become A Union Stagehand. I returned again for My familys first reunion we hosted. And then again for the last time at the request of a close friend to tyr to fix what will forever be broken. And I swore I would never go back to Georgia. After that last trip down and the change in the few friends I witnessed. And here I am about to return because My family needs Me there. Not sure what to expect when I return here to DC. And while Im really looking forwards to seeing My family again. Im not really excited to go back to ATL. Its not My home anymore. Im a Washingtonian now. That aint saying much in the current state I have been in trying to be a Washingtonian and a Union Stagehand. The only people I know who will miss Me are the people at our historic drum circle that I play drums with on sundays at Malcolm X park. And maybe less than a handful of people I know personally. All the res I know here online. Mostly by profiles and post in groups and stuff. But every time I get ready to go back down south I uncomfortable feeling comes over Me. Because Im not going home. Im just visiting what lil family I have. But the city is not the same. Im not the same. And all I really want to do is see My family and maybe see a few friends and then try to get back here to DC and pray I have a place to live when I get here. And hope that I can find more work to earn a reason to be here. Life can be really short or very long depending on how you live it. Its funny how things change when you show up and have to face all the people who claimed they want to see you for some reason and then you get there and well... Shit happens. Im flying by the seat of My pants and a few prayers. I dont even have a return ticket. I just know that Im not gonna be there long and I am gonna miss being here. Even if being here has been lonelier than I have ever been in My life. This is home. Kinda... Because in all honesty, I have not had a real home since I left the home I used to know because I had no home to return to when I left just so I can find a way of making a living enough to be there. So yeah... Theres a lot of emotions right now in Me. I got less than 24 hours to prepare Myself for this little journey. And then I have to remember that Im just visiting. Just to give My respects to My family. And then... respect
Posted on: Wed, 28 May 2014 02:35:54 +0000
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